"So it's true."

"Is that a question?" Jason stands, though he's still careful not to meet Robert's eyes. Robert doesn't really need to ask and they both know it. It's there in black and white, the typeface smeared where Robert's gripped the paper so tightly, the picture of Jason leaning into someone - another man - crystal clear.

"No." Robert still can't find the words he wants to say. All the anger that roiled inside him on the drive home slips away in the face of his brother's defiant stance. "You know what this means."

That's not a question either, and not what he meant to say. It's the wrong thing to say if Jason's sudden stiffening is any indication. "I know what it means to me, Robert. What it means for my life. But I have a feeling that's not what's important here, right? Not what matters. I mean, what I'm going through, what just happened to me probably comes a distant second behind whatever you want to tell me the polls are saying right now, am I right?"

"Jason…"

"Or what about Mom and Dad, Robert? I mean, they opened up the paper to find the wrong son staring at them from the front page. How do you think that feels? You're the one who likes the limelight. You're the one who wants everyone's attention. I guess this works out for you in that regard though, doesn't it? I mean, no one's going to focus on me after this, right? It's all about how me being gay affects you."

"You're not being fair."

"You think it was fair of whatever machinations you and your politico friends use to take something so personal, so private that I hadn't shared it with anyone and blast it out there for everyone in the world to see?"

"You'd shared it with that guy."

Jason laughs, the sound hard and bitter and nothing like the easy laughter Robert's used to from his younger brother. "I was on a date. A first date, Robert. With some nice guy that had no clue what he was getting himself in to. Of course, at the time, neither did I. At least the paper had the decency to preserve his anonymity. Lucky bastard." He turns and looks at Robert, hurt so dark in his clear eyes. "Say what you want to say. Get it all out. Blame me for being gay, for ruining your campaign, blame me for sabotaging your campaign simply because I can't keep my dick in my pants. Go on."

"Jason…" He can't seem to move past the word, can't seem to find the words he needs. It's strange to stand here and listen. That's always been Jason's job. Robert's job is speechifying and grandstanding. Jason has always stood back and watched, observed. Only now everything's been thrown off kilter, upside down and out of line.

"You think I haven't berated myself all my life, Robert? Stop it, Jason. Stop wanting that. It's not right. It's not…normal. But it is what it is, Robert. It is who I am. Do you think I want to be gay? That I want to feel people look at me like I'm some sort of hideous freak? You think it's easy in the gym? In the church? You think any of this is fucking easy for me?"

"No, I don't." Robert snaps the words, too late to take them back as the shock of his response registers on Jason's face. Too late to stop everything that's been boiling up inside of him since he saw the paper, since every person on his campaign had looked at him and shook their heads and written him off. "But maybe if you'd had the guts to talk to someone, to me before it got announced in the goddamn Sacramento Bee…"

"Why? So you could ask me to wait? Ask me to keep this a secret just until the election? Is that why, Robert? Because your political career means more to you than my life?"

"That's not what I said."

"No, but it's what you thought. It's written all over your face. My stupid little brother, screwing up my plans one more time. Well, trust me, Robert, the last thing I wanted was for my sex life, my romantic life to be fodder for your damn pundits. Everything you say is suddenly going to be viewed in the context of my private life. Against gay marriage? What does your gay brother think about that, Mr. McAllister? Against AIDS funding? What does your gay brother think about that, Mr. McAllister? How can you support family values, Mr. McAllister, when you have one of those goddamn homosexuals living in your own attic?"

"Bastard children go in the attic. Homosexuals are in the basement." He knows the humor will fall flat, knows that Jason's beyond their usual fail safes for getting out of arguments, but he can't help himself. His world has turned upside down and he doesn't know how to right it. "Jason…"

"Don't. Just…just don't." Jason shakes his head, his face closed down. "There's nothing you can say, Robert. Nothing you can say that is even close to the truth. You'll say you understand, that you support me, but the reality of it is that you're angry. You're angry that I've sabotaged your campaign. You're angry that what you want was in your grasp, and now it's…what did your opponent say? Giving blow jobs in the back room of a dark club, just like your brother?"

"Jason!"

"I liked him, Robert. I liked him and I wanted to get to know him and maybe, maybe, just once, have a relationship with someone I wanted, someone who wanted me."

"I understand that." Robert sighs, raking his hand through his hair. "I just wish you'd been more discreet."

"Yeah? Well, I wish I hadn't been dragged through the mud into the limelight." Jason brushes past him, his voice rough with anger and something Robert's not sure he wants to recognize. "Guess neither of us are getting what we want."

Election night is mostly a formality. Robert concedes the race long before the final counts are in. The staffers that bothered to come to headquarters leave early as well, taking the few complimentary bottles of champagne Breen sent, thanking him for handing the election over practically before it began.

"So. You lost."

Robert looks up from the paperwork in front on his desk. His heart skips a beat that has nothing to do with fear. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry if I cost you the election."

"I'm sorry the election cost me my brother." Jason nods, his fingers graze over the tables covered with the obligatory bunting that Courtney had insisted on, bumper stickers and buttons. "Take what you like. As you can see nobody wanted the party favors."

"Was there ever anybody here?"

Robert watches him carefully, tracking Jason as he makes his way around the room. "Five people at one point. An all time high." Robert sighs a little and takes a sip of his coffee, wincing at the icy taste. "You didn't cost me the election."

"No?"

"No." Robert gets up, moving around to lean against his desk. "The situation did, but not the reason for the situation. I don't care that you're gay. I don't care that people know you're gay. I mean, as a Republican, I don't plan on shouting it from the rooftops, but if anyone asks me, I won't deny it."

"Kind of hard to deny photographic evidence." Jason keeps moving, never standing still enough for Robert to get a read on his mood, his emotions. His voice stays light though, and he's here, which is more than Robert ever really hoped for. "Besides, who's going to ask at this point? It's pretty much out there."

"You shouldn't be though. I mean…Okay, I said that wrong. You weren't ready to be, and I'm sorry that you got outed to get to me. It's dirty politics."

"Kind of a redundancy, isn't it?"

"No." Robert shakes his head. "I suppose it is to some extent, but not in my book. Not the way I want to play the game. I think that there can be honest, good government. I think that it should be about the issues and not who's financing the bill. I think it should be about what's right for people and not what's popular. I don't want to play dirty."

A hint of a smile curves Jason's lips, and Robert can't help but echo it, can't help but remember as well. "You never liked to play dirty."

"You didn't cost me this race, Jason. I cost me the race. Because I don't want to play by their rules. I don't want to cheat to win." He looks down at his hands and then shoves them in his pockets, ignoring Courtney's voice in his head telling him he's ruining the line of his suit.

"So what will you do now?" Jason turns and looks at him, his face hidden in the shadow of a sign blocking the light. "Go home and make babies? Join the PTA?"

"No. I'm going to run again. My rules, my terms. If I lose again, then I'll try again. Again and again until I change things."

"Or it changes you?"

Robert shakes his head. "I won't change. I can't change who I am, Jason. No more than you can." They're silent for a long moment, and then Robert speaks again, unwilling to listen to the quiet. There's been too much quiet lately. "What brings you here?"

"I thought I'd help you celebrate."

"Nothing to celebrate."

"You stood your ground, Robert. I think that's worth celebrating. Don't you?"

He nods, trying to hold back the laugh that threatens at the back of his throat, uncertain if he lets it loose he won't be able to stop laughing or crying. Or both. "How are you?"

Jason shrugs. "Still gay."

Robert laughs now, unable to hold it in. "Well, I'm glad to know everything didn't get derailed for a passing fancy." He stares into the distance, the silent TVs still proclaiming it a tight race even though he'd lost long ago. "How are you really?"

"It's been tough. Mom and Dad and I are talking again though, so that's good."

"It is."

"It was hard."

He can barely hear his own voice over the pounding of his heart. "I'm sure it was."

"I'd just come to terms with it, you know? I'd spent my whole life resisting it and I'd finally decided to live my life, the way I needed, the way I wanted. I finally made a choice to be who I am, and it was hard to know it wasn't about me."

"You're wrong, Jason. It was about you. No." He shakes his head. "You're right. It wasn't about you, and it should have been. And, even though it's no defense, I made it about me." Robert shrugs, wondering if Jason can see the honesty of his apology in his stance, if he can hear it in his tone. He is sorry. Sorry that all the important things fell apart. "I'm human, Jason. My first response was about me. It's how people are. We're selfish. Self-centered. I wish I could say it was different."

Jason nods and moves over to one of the chairs. "You want to risk being seen with a gay man? Get a beer?"

Robert breathes for the first time since he realized it was Jason in the room. "Yeah. I'd like that."

Jason looks at him, watches Robert nod. "I promise I won't hit on you, though I think the Republicans are a little more lenient on incest than they are on homosexuality."

"Hey, we're in California, not the deep south." He steps closer, throwing his arm around Jason's shoulders. "You okay?"

"Yes. I'm good. You?"

"Been better." He smiles and tightens his hold. "But yes. Right now I'm good."

"And you're okay? With having a gay brother?"

"Are you going to make me listen to show tunes?"

"Hymns."

"Hymns? Is that a gay thing I'm not aware of?"

"No. It's a church thing. Going for my masters in divinity."

"But you're gay."

"Yeah. I like to think God doesn't care. Since, you know, he made me this way."

"You're going to be the death of me."

"Or your political career. One of the two."

"And…the being gay thing? That's good?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's still new and different, but…I used to look around at all the people in our lives. Mom and Dad and their friends. You and Courtney. Everyone's…normal. A guy and a girl. Normal." Jason sighs, picking at his lower lip with his fingers. "I wish that I could be like that. I've tried to be like that. I dated girls. I kissed girls. I…did stuff with girls. And none of it was even close to what it was like the first time a guy's hand brushed mine, you know?" He shakes his head. "No. You don't know. How can you? You're not like me, like this."

"There's nothing wrong with being gay, Jason."

"You really think that?"

Robert nods. "I really think that."

"You're never going to win an election as a Republican."

"You think so?"

"No." Jason shakes his head. "I think you'll win. And then I'll push you to satisfy my gay agenda."

"You have one of those?"

"Yup." Jason nods and starts toward the door, Robert close behind. "You get it when you come out. Pink triangle, rainbow flag and a gay agenda."

"You guys are more organized than both political parties put together."

"Yeah." Jason smiles and snags one of each of the items off the table. "But you guys have better bumper stickers."