He hated him from the moment Mom brought him home from the hospital, all pink in the face and blue blankets. He remembered Dad as he left telling Tommy to watch over Sarah and Kitty, because he was the man of the house. Blue means boy and that means that Kevin is competition. His dad's taught him how to be the best, how to be the man, and Tommy's not about to let some little screaming, crying, pooping ball of blue blankets take man of the house away from him.

Everyone thought Kevin was accident-prone. Everyone suspected that he was clumsy and fell a lot, that he had really bad balance or maybe an inner ear problem. Everyone thought that Kevin was introverted and just didn't pay attention to the world around him. Tommy didn't recognize words like Aspbergers or autism, but he knew they thought there was something wrong with Kevin, and that was fine with him. His dad always said maybe it was just boys being boys, but Tommy knew his dad didn't think Kevin was right. Just like Tommy knew it was his job to prove it.

Kevin's skin bruised easily. It didn't take much effort to make him look like he's been roughhousing or, better still, running into things in plain sight. Kevin never told and Kevin never complained, though he shied away from Tommy during family events, trying to stay away from Tommy's pinching fingers, from Tommy's fists. Tommy got smarter though, learned the ways to sneak up on Kevin until eventually it would take Mom's pleading and Dad's threatening to get Kevin to come down for any kind of family function.

It stopped when Justin was born, when Tommy realized he was fighting a losing battle. Kevin strangely didn't retaliate against Justin like Tommy thought he would, didn't do anything to Justin at all. He'd stare at him sometimes, those too-blue eyes watching Justin as if he were more afraid of him than Justin should be of Kevin.

When Kevin was sixteen, he got beaten up by a guy and his friends. The guy thought Kevin was hitting on his girlfriend, which in retrospect was kind of funny, but at the time, it pissed Tommy off a lot. He's not sure why - maybe the age-old rule that he could pick on his brother, but no one else could - but he ended up in detention for fighting and he and Kevin had matching black eyes.

Their dad didn't say much really, but that night at dinner, he'd clamped Tommy on the shoulder and told him he was proud of him. He'd shown those guys what a Walker was made of, that a Walker couldn't just be taken in a fight like some sort of wimp. Tommy had felt Kevin's eyes on him and had known that the words weren't for him so much as they were for Kevin.

He knocked on Kevin's door long past when they were both supposed to be asleep, and he wasn't surprised at how quickly Kevin answered. He was sitting on his bed, knees pulled up to his chin, staring at nothing. Tommy sat at the end of the bed and looked over at him, crossing his legs and looking at Kevin for a long time. "He's kind of a jerk."

"Not to you."

Tommy had to nod his agreement there. Something about Kevin just set their father off, hit every button that made the mean and sharp come out of William Walker. Kevin handled it, and maybe that was the problem. Their dad couldn't break him and he couldn't figure out why, so he kept going, trying to find the point where Kevin would crack.

Kevin sighed softly, resting his head on his knees. For a second, Tommy thought he might cry, but when Kevin spoke, his voice was controlled with no hint of tears. "Why'd you do it?"

"Because you're my brother."

"That never mattered before. That was the reason before."

Tommy was silent for a long time before sliding off the bed and heading to the door. "Well, that was before."

Tommy met Kevin at the hospital the night it happened. Kevin didn't want their parents to know, and Tommy was more than willing to keep the secret. Something about Kevin like that made it worse. Tommy stood in the opening of Kevin's area in the emergency room, watching as Kevin sat there, bloodied and bruised and smaller than Tommy could remember him ever being, answering question after question. The policemen didn't look sympathetic, and Tommy thought the defeated hunch of Kevin's shoulders hurt more than anything that had been broken or bandaged.

Kevin looked up at him, his eyes widening in surprise. He probably figured Sarah would come, but Tommy had gotten the message and hadn't hesitated. He'd left the party and driven the seventy miles without thinking.

"At least tell me the other guy looks worse."

Kevin managed a smile, though it cost him, his whole body flinching with the pain as it tugged at the stitch in his lower lip. "You're assuming it was a guy."

"If a girl did this to you, you're going to have to find another ride home." Tommy sat on the chair beside the bed. "After, of course, I mock and laugh at you."

"You know, it's kind of unfair. People think I'm straight and they beat me up. People find out I'm gay and they beat me up. You'd think I could find a middle ground."

"You could be bisexual."

"Then everyone would beat me up." Kevin managed another smile, holding it in just enough to keep himself from wincing.

"Maybe you could learn how to fight."

"Bitch-slapping doesn't count as fighting?"

Tommy rolled his eyes. "At least tell me that you kicked one of them in the nuts."

"The only nuts I was concerned about were my own."

"Well, there's a change." Tommy dodged the tissue Kevin tossed his way. "What do you say we get out of here?"

"I guess, yeah." Kevin sighed and glanced down at the thin hospital gown he was wearing. "I don't suppose you brought a change of clothes?"

"No, but I've got my work out clothes in the car. I'll grab them and they can tide you over until I get you home."

Kevin nodded and then looked up at Tommy, the smile faded until it was barely there, just a ghost of what it had been. "Thanks, Tommy."