"So I'd have someone to cart around my packages?" Sarah looks over at Kevin, her lips in the smile that always warns him not to say anything more, even though he's always likely to. "No. That's why mom gave me siblings. I got married for the good sex."

"Yeah? And how's that going for you?"

Sarah's lips thin and her eyes darken and it's worth it, in that moment, until she jabs him hard in the side. "Play nice, Kevin, or I'll start asking you about that guy I saw you with at the coffee place."

"What guy?"

"Dark hair, thin, black suit, pink tie. The pink tie is a dead give away, by the way."

"That would be Aaron. He's a divorce attorney. You know, for when the good sex goes bad."

She jerks hard on his arm, tugging him toward another store, this one filled with too much pink, too much lace and way too many women. She leans in and kisses his cheek, turning her head so the gesture looks far more intimate that it is and whispers viciously in his ear. "You're an ass, little brother. And not in the way the lawyer guy was probably hoping for."

"Actually, I'm an ass in that way too," he pulls away from her grip and smiles weakly at the sales person as she approaches. She smiles at him in a predatory way and he doesn't know what Sarah was hoping for, but he's been playing this game for a long time. "Don't bother. I'm gay."

"His boyfriend likes to dress up in women's clothes." His eyes widen and he turns to Sarah, mouth agape. She's got an evil gleam and a wicked smile. "It's okay, Kevin, honey. She won't judge."

"You know I know all the ways to kill people that aren't against the law. And I know all the ones that are and how not to get caught, right?"

"Oh, come on, Kev. Tommy'll look pretty in pink."

"T-T-…" He chokes on the word, on the image flashing through his brain of his brother in something lacy and frilly forever burned into his psyche. "I'm going to ki…"

"What size do you think the gentleman is?"

"Well," Sarah butts in before Kevin can recover the power of speech. "That's what he doesn't want to say. I mean, the reason he's here is because he," she dropped her voice, "tried some of them on, and now they're just…well, Tommy can't wear them again."

"Oh." The sales clerk looks torn between complete disbelief that Kevin could sully something lacy and fear that he's having sex with a thirteen year-old transvestite. "Well, um, so smaller than…"

"You know what, we're done." He sets every single one of Sarah's bags at her feet and turns, leaving the store without another word. He hears her call his name, but he's past listening. She catches up soon enough, out of breath and crackling with the collision of paper bags, and she falls in step with him.

"Kevin?"

"That wasn't funny."

"Joe and I…now's not a good time for teasing me about…about divorce or anything."

He stops and looks at her, sighing as he wraps an arm around her shoulder. "Oh, Sarah."

"And, I'm sorry, it was wrong to do that to you."

"To me? How do you think Tommy'll feel?"

"Tommy!" She shakes her head. "Oh, no. Tommy never finds out about this, Kevin, or I will kill you where you stand."

"Seriously, for Christmas? I'm going to get him something lacy and say it's from you." He tilts his head, trying to hide his smile as her distrust tightens her features. "What do you think? Garter belt? Teddy?"

"Kevin."

He looks at her, easing away a few steps. "Bustier?"

"Get the thought out of your head." She swings the bags at him, fighting off a laugh as he dodges out of the way. "Or I'll tell Mom you're dating a transvestite."

Kevin sobers. "Okay. Truce?"

"Truce."

They fall in step, Kevin taking a few of the bags from Sarah's hands. "What about a Merry Widow?"