He hates the gym, but he goes, unwilling to let the bleakness of his personal life dictate another night on his couch with Ben and Jerry, given that as good as they are, they rarely leave him not wanting more. There's bound to be someone out there, even if it's not a soap star with blue eyes that flash and a southern California drawl that laps at Kevin's resolve like waves on the shore.

Kevin mutters to himself and slams his locker shut. He's got the start of a hard-on, and it's the last thing he needs right now, in the midst of some high-end gym's locker room with…absolutely no one around. He'd heard the trample of feet as the next round of boot camp started, but he'd paid it no mind, lost in his own thoughts.

Fantasies, mocks a little voice in his head that sounds way too much like boyfriends past. "Yeah, well, you take what you can get," he reminds them, ignoring steadily the fact that what he can get has never quite been enough for him.

The faint hiss of the shower and the heavy steam hit him as he walks out of the locker room. He keeps his head down and his towel tight around his waist, but loose enough that whatever embarrassment he tried to bring down on himself in the other room isn't apparent to whoever's got the hot water turned up as high as it can go.

Eyes on the ground, make it to the stall, shower the sweat off, get the hell out and to the office where he can drown himself in paperwork until he can get home and…

"Kevin?"

He closes his eyes and tilts his head up, wondering what exactly he's done to deserve the year he's had. "Hey, Chad." Kevin nods in Chad's direction and on, stowing his gear on the small shelf and hanging his towel on the hook. He turns the water on, closing his eyes as the cold bursts down on him, sending a shiver through him.

"Kev?"

Kevin catches his breath as Chad's voice ghosts over his shoulder like steam as the water heats up. He turns and Chad's there and he clears his throat, shaking his head all the while. "This is a bad idea. Bad. Very…bad."

"Yeah," he nods and leans in, his mouth slanting over Kevin's, his lips parted and the shadowed pink hint of tongue between them. "Trust me, I know."

Kevin doesn't know anything right now, anymore. And anything he thinks he might have known is pushed away by the insistent thrust of Chad's tongue, of the firm grip in Kevin's hair. Kevin groans, the sound smothered between them. Chad pushes him back, cold tile and hot skin and Kevin groans again, his hands shaking as he slides them up Chad's back, marking trails on wet flesh as Chad bites Kevin's lower lip, sucking it into his mouth.

"Can't…" Kevin breathes, sliding his hands down to Chad's lower back, just above his ass and pulling him closer. "Can't do this."

Chad's hand plants on the wall next to Kevin's head, bracing him as he nudges Kevin's legs wider apart, fitting their bodies together. Can't slips out of Kevin's vocabulary, replaced by want and need. Chad's other hand tugs free of Kevin's hair, snaking long fingers down his throat to the hollow, pressing against it before curving his hand around Kevin's neck. He kisses Kevin again, pushing harder, deeper and Kevin can't help the answering thrust of his hips.

"God, Kev," Chad breathes into Kevin's mouth, hot and hungry, his tongue licking and sliding past Kevin's lips. The heat of the shower has them both slick, sweaty and wet and the hard slide of flesh against flesh rips another groan from Kevin's throat. His fingers press harder to Chad's skin, nails digging in, as he pushes forward, needing the hard, rough contact that Chad's answering thrust provides.

Kevin tilts his head back as Chad's mouth follows a near identical path as his hand, sliding down the other side of Kevin's neck, leaving a trail of sharp, stinging bites until he reaches the juncture of neck and shoulder, his mouth hot there, feasting on Kevin's skin.

"Fuck, Kevin."

"Yes." Kevin agrees, too far gone to see reason or logic, too hungry for this, for contact. Chad's body is against his and on his and they're moving together, rocking and thrusting. Skin against skin and skin against tile and Kevin catches Chad's earlobe between his teeth, exhaling breathless pleas into Chad's wet hair.

It's over as fast as it begins, matching heat between their bodies as the water the falls around them. Chad steps back, flushed and disbelieving, his eyes on anything but Kevin. Kevin slumps back against the wall, sliding down the slick surface until he's squatting just above the floor, heedless of his own nakedness.

"W-what was that?"

"Nothing." Chad takes a step backwards, looking ready to flee, though his eyes linger on Kevin in ways that Kevin can't help but get caught up in, like spider webs clinging to his skin. "Nothing."

"Nothing." Kevin nods and forces himself to his feet, the movement placing him closer to Chad, who does nothing to keep the distance between them. "Right."

"It can't be anything," Chad whispers, his voice rough and deep, sounding different than Kevin's used to, though it might just be the blood pounding in his ears. "We can't be anything." He shakes his head, swaying forward before taking a step back. Kevin shakes his head and turns, ducking his head under the spray. "Kevin…"

"You should go. Wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea."

"I don't want you to get the wrong idea."

"You're gay."

"I'm not gay."

"Well, too late, I have the wrong idea." He steps forward, crowding Chad. "No. I take it back. You just rutted against me, thrusting me back against the wall like you needed to be inside me, and the way I see it, that makes you gay. So you've got the wrong idea."

"You don't understand."

"What's to understand?" Kevin slaps off the water and grabs his towel, scrubbing his face with the rough fabric.

"I want you," Chad says softly, his voice quavering. "I'm not allowed to have you, but I want you. So you don't understand."

"You just had me, Chad." Kevin's voice alters, the tight anger in it easing slightly. "The question is where we go from here."

"Is there anywhere to go?"

Kevin ties the towel around his waist and sighs, careful not to look at Chad, to think about warm skin and luxury, sheets and bed and privacy, about relationships and meaning. He licks his lips and raises his eyes. "My place."