Lee nods, staring up at the silent house. He's not been home in the past two years, begging off of holidays and birthday parties and events with excuses of classes and exams and flights and anything else he can find or think of that would keep him from here. "Pretty sure there's no way you can cost me as much as going in there will."

The cab driver shakes his head, eyes glancing over Lee's pressed uniform, even after the flight and the drive. "Would think you'd be happy to be home."

"Would you?" Lee asks softly, pushing his door open. "You'd be wrong."

Zak opens the door at Lee's knock, his quick and easy grin fading in an instant. "What are you doing here?"

Lee shrugs in response, shifting his bag on his shoulder. "I live here."

The hard laugh catches Lee by surprise as Zak steps back. There's something different in his brother's face, a dark edge that Lee doesn't remember. Guilt hits him hard and low in the stomach as Zak's eyes follow him through the door. "Couldn't prove that by me, big brother."

"I've been busy."

"Yeah, I can imagine." He takes Lee's back off his shoulder, the sudden shift unbalancing Lee slightly. "Must take ages to get those creases ironed just right so they're perfectly aligned with the stick up your ass."

Lee's jaw clenches and he smirks at his brother. "Home sweet home."

"Dinner's at seven." Zak returns his smirk with one of his own, disturbingly familiar. "Shall I send some servants or do you think you can manage to find your way?"

"I can manage on my own."

"Yeah," Zak nods, eyes flashing hot and bright and sharp like missiles armed and aimed directly at Lee. "I figured that one out."

Zak ignores Lee through dinner, though his glances get more and more pointed as Carol Anne refills her glass time and again. Lee ignores them. It's what he learned to do a long time ago, but Zak's angry gaze makes it harder then he remembers. Finally Carol Anne gets up from the table, stumbling into the other room and leaving Lee and Zak alone.

Zak gets to his feet and carries his dishes into the kitchen. Lee does the same, his plate nearly full, his stomach unsettled. They clear the table in silence, Zak breaking it with the sudden burst of noise from the faucet.

Lee scrapes the plates clean, half an eye on what he's doing and the other on the steam rising from the sink. "Zak…"

Zak ignores him, snapping off the water and sinking his hands in. His teeth clench and he closes his eyes, but it's the only sign he gives that he even feels the heat.

"Zak." Lee sets the plates carefully on the counter, shifting closer to his brother. "I couldn't come home. You know what it's like here. I couldn't have that distraction."

"Distraction?" Zak straightens sharply and gives Lee a hard, angry glare. "Is that what I am, Lee? A distraction?"

"Not you, Zak. Her."

"Yeah, well, guess what, Lee? Right now she and I are a package deal."

"You know how important this is to me, Zak."

"No, Lee. I don't. Because I thought you didn't want to follow in his footsteps. I thought you wanted to be your own man. But that was only true until you realized the Academy was the only thing that would get you out of here. Away from us." His smirk sharp as the knife he's washing. "Away from me."

"That's not true, Zak." Lee shakes his head, his hand settling carefully on Zak's forearm. "You know that's not true. You know I felt a duty…"

"Frak you, Lee." Zak pulls his arm back out of Lee's grasp, scattering a spray of scalding water. "Just frak you. You don't get to come back here and talk about duty. You don't get to talk about honor and loyalty. You don't get that, Lee, because you don't have any. You left me here and didn't care, didn't look back. You deserted me, Lee. Just like Dad did, only worse." Zak sneers, shaking his head. "It was worse, Lee, because you promised me, every night. You swore you never would."

"I was twelve, Zak."

"Yeah? Doesn't make it any less a lie."

"Frak you." Lee throws up his hands, surrendering to Zak's angry glare. "You think you'd have done any different, Zak? You think you wouldn't have run as fast as you could away form this place? You think you're better than me? Well, more power to you, Zak, but I'll tell you this, it's no less a lie when you're lying to yourself."

Lee's halfway out the door when Zak's full weight hits him hard and fast in the lower back. He falls forward, shins slamming into the steps as his knees buckle. His hands skid along the concrete walk, holding him for a brief moment before Zak's weight drives him to the ground.

He jerks hard, driving Zak onto the ground next to him. Lee's elbow digs deep into Zak's stomach. He can feel the heat of fury burning beneath his skin. "What the frak is wrong with you?"

"You don't get to walk away again," Zak snarls. He shakes his head once then lurches toward Lee, his forehead colliding hard with Lee's chin. Lee can taste blood, the impact breaking skin against his teeth. "You don't frakking get to leave." He thrusts his hand into the empty air between them. "You don't get to walk away from this."

Lee wipes the ball of his hand along the corner of his mouth, the raw skin doing nothing to curb the blood trickling from Lee's lip. His tongue catches it instead, bringing the bright red back into Lee's mouth, smearing it against his already bloodied teeth. "I'm already gone, Zak."

"No you're frakking not." Zak launches himself at Lee again, shoving his brother hard against the lawn. It was overgrown even in the few weeks since spring had hit, and the hard, bristled grass cuts through Lee's t-shirt. "You're a frakking coward, Lee. Running away. Running away to fight an enemy that doesn't exist anymore because you don't have the guts to fight the Gods-damned war at home."

"I've been fighting that war since before you were born, Zak." Lee shoves him off again, hissing as he levers himself to his feet, the grass burning against his raw hands. He looks down at his brother, the faint light of the moon turning to black the trail of blood that leaks from Zak's nose. He wipes a hand across his own face, looking at the same black smear across his fingers. "I lost."

"You didn't lose. You quit. You deserted." Zak gets to his feet as well, his voice rising as he does. Lee casts a quick glance around and sees no lights from other houses coming on, the shrill antics of the outcasts of Bill Adama's life well known. Shouts and screams and shattered glass are the norm here, with no one expecting anything more from them.

Except Zak. Zak always expects more.

"You think that uniform makes you a man, Lee?" He shoves hard at Lee's chest, pushing him away from him, back in the direction of the house. "Being a man means living up to your responsibilities, your promises. You're not a man."

"What the frak do you know about being a man, Zak? You're just a kid, whining because you don't get your way, because you've got to deal with all the fallout on your own. Well, guess what? We all have to do it. It's called life. It sucks, and it's frakking unfair, but it is, so just do it." He bats away Zak's hands as they keep shoving at him, finally catching his younger brother's wrists. "You want to leave? Leave. You're old enough now. Go to the old man and beg him for help. Tell him you want to be what he wants you to be, and he'll have you out of here before you can say Academy. He'll be happy to substitute the service for his own fatherhood. He knows, Zak, but he doesn't care enough to do anything about it unless it's still in a way he can wash his hands of you."

Zak jerks his hands away, shoving Lee again, pushing him up against the side of the house. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? Absolve you of everything, wouldn't it?"

"I'm your frakking brother, Zak. Not your mother, not your father. I don't owe you anything."

Zak's teeth clench, hissing, spitting the words in Lee's face. "You owe me everything. You promised me everything."

"Yeah?" Lee shoves him off then spins them around, slamming Zak hard against the wall. "Well, guess what, Zak? I frakking lied."

"That's what we do, right? " Zak sneers again, his voice rough with anger. "The great Adama pastime. Lie to save face. Lie to cover your ass. Lie to them. Lie to everyone. Lie to me."

"Saint Zak," Lee laughs, the sound hard and bitter. "Well guess what, you can afford to be wounded and dignified. You get whatever you want. Life frakking handed to you on a plate."

Zak shoves off the wall, grabbing Lee's arm and refusing to let him walk away. "Yeah, my life's frakking golden, Lee. Just what everyone wishes for. A drunk for a mother, a stranger for a father. And you."

Lee tries to pull away, unable to break Zak's grip. Lee's lip curls into a snarl, his normally calm demeanor laced with anger, rage shimmering just below the surface. "Trust me, Zak, if I had my way, I wouldn't even be on your frakking list." He moves in closer, his hands clenching into fists, Zak's shirt caught in his grip. "I hate them both. You think she was better for me? You think I liked having to be the frakking parent to my own mother as well as to my six year old brother? You think I like not being enough of a reason for my own father to frakking give a damn? Do you think I wanted you around? So frakking perfect, the spitting frakking image of the old man. The frakking one who, just by virtue of not being me was the better son? Well, frak you, Zak. Frak you and frak them." He releases Zak's shirt, shoving him back hard. "And frak this."

He turns to walk away, Zak's grip on his wrist gone slack. He's done with this, done with all of it, but he barely makes it halfway to the fence when Zak tackles him again. They wrestle, Lee's superior strength, weight and training no match for the flashing fury in Zak's eyes.

"You think it's easy for me, you son of a bitch? You think it's easy to live up to his expectations? Do you think it's frakking easy to live up to yours?"

"Then stop" Lee finally shoves him back, gaining enough momentum to roll Zak onto his back, pinning him beneath him. His hands burn and leave black streaks of blood on Zak's skin. "Then just frakking stop. Don't do what he wants. Don't do what she says. Don't…" Lee stops, staring down into Zak's dark eyes.

Zak shakes his head, the fury gone leaving behind a scared, sad teenager. "How do I do that, Lee? How do I stop? How did you?"

Lee shifts his grip on Zak's wrists, a bitter smile curling his lips. "What makes you think I did?"

"You've been gone for two years."

Lee nods, his eyes closing in something that feels like defeat. Gone only matters if you stay that way. "I'm here now."

"Lee?"

He looks at Zak and shakes his head, part plea and part refusal, as he shifts back so he can pull away. Zak catches his hand and stills him, pulling Lee back down against him. Zak's hand reaches up, his fingers gentle on Lee's skin. They stay suspended like that for a moment, neither moving until Zak raises up on his elbows and kisses Lee, his lips as soft as his touch; all the earlier anger turned to something else, something more in the overgrown grass of their back yard.

"Zak…" Lee breathes the words, even as Zak's mouth finds his again, and again. Familiar and warm and wrong. "No."

"You're here now, Lee." Zak agrees, reminds him with another soft kiss, another touch as his hand skirts the back of Lee's neck. "And I'm glad you're home."