She sat on the edge of the couch, glancing around. "I don't think I ever really looked the place over before. It's nice."

"It's beyond nice, Potter. This is luxury."

"Yeah." She nodded and watched him as he poured heated milk into a mug, whipping the ground cocoa through it with a fork. "You like being a chef?"

"Well, I'm not a chef. But I like what I do. And I'm good at it." He set the steaming milk back on the stove and lowered the heat, reaching into the bar's mini-refrigerator and pulling out a can of whipped cream. "Sorry the cream's not hand-whipped."

"I'll register a complaint with the owner."

He carried the mugs over to the table and handed her one, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch. He took a sip of his and stared down into the frothy mixture. "Why don't we talk about why you're really here?"

"We did. Out on the dock."

"You're here because they slept together, Joey." He took another sip, amazed at how easy it was not to look at her. "You're here because Jen and Dawson slept together and they're a couple now. And you're hurt."

Her hands were wrapped around the mug, pink from the heat and white from the pressure of her grip. "A little."

"There's nothing wrong with feeling that way, Jo. Things had happened that led you to believe that he was interested in starting things over with you. You're allowed to be hurt that it didn't work out."

"I'm not hurt, Pacey." She set the mug down and rubbed her hands on her knees. "I'm relieved."

"Pardon?"

"I'm relieved. That's why I feel so guilty. I'm relieved that Dawson and Jen are together and I don't have to deal with this anymore." She picked up the mug and set it down again. "Before he left for California, the night before, the four of us went out. Jen and Jack were both asking us if we were going to be okay, if there was anything we needed to say to one another. If I should ask him to stay."

She didn't have to look at him to sense his body jerking with her words. "Did…" He cleared his throat and took a long drink. When he spoke again, his voice was normal. "Did you?"

"Yeah." He got off the couch and walked back to the bar, grabbing a bottle from underneath the counter. "And in the same breath, I told him to go. That it was just me being scared and afraid and that I was going to miss my best friend. I didn't ask him to stay because I loved him, Pacey. Not like…not like you wanted me to ask you."

He poured a shot from the bottle into his mug then took a healthy sip, testing it. "And apparently he went, right?"

"He…we kissed that night, Pacey."

He poured another shot then screwed the cap on tight, forcing himself to put the bottle away. He could still taste the faint trace of chocolate as he drained his mug. With steady hands, he rinsed it in the sink and turned it upside down on the small rack to dry.

"I was confused then. I wasn't sure what the kiss meant. Was it goodbye? Was it friendship? Was it the promise of something more? I was confused. Dawson and I kept in touch pretty much every week and then he flew out here. And I'd left a message on his machine that I needed to end things between us, because I couldn't keep waiting and then the next thing I know he's at my doorstep."

"That must have been gratifying."

"But he hadn't heard my message. And then he did hear it and he was upset and we fought and decided…I don't really know what we decided, Pacey, other than that we were friends who maybe should be something more. And I think we were going to try that. I think he was going to stay here in Boston and be with his friends…"

"Be with you."

"And then Mitch died and that all died with him."

"And you're relieved?"

"I told you once before that with Dawson, it's like I'm still fifteen years old, hiding in his closet, quoting Jaws. And being in college and out on my own for the first time…the thought of that…that comfort, that familiarity felt good. Felt safe. Felt…I thought I needed it. I thought I needed him to give me that stability that I need."

"But now?"

"I'm doing things…my own things. In school and in life that I never would have done before, Pacey. I made friends with Audrey and I'm working on this project and I like not having a safety net. I like clinging to the high wire and swaying in the wind. I like looking down at the ocean beneath me and knowing that somehow I can tame the waves."

His jaw clenched as he swallowed, the familiar metaphor falling so easily off her lips. "I'm glad for you, Jo."

She drank some of her hot chocolate and opened her mouth, stopping as the taste of it filled her. "Damn. That's good."

"I'm glad you like it."

"Mitch died and it set me free, Pacey. How sad is that?"

"Deaths are beginnings too, Jo. They make you reevaluate things and they make you reexamine your life and the people in it. They remind you that anything can happen in an instant and you don't have any idea when the moment will come. They make you look at things through the eyes of mortality."

She stood up, nodding, still sipping her cocoa as she walked to the bar and sat on one of the stools. Her eyes met his in the soft light. "When'd you get so smart, Pacey?"

"I lost a father when Mitch died too, Jo." He shrugged, gripping the counter. "And after the funeral, I went over to my parents' house. And to Doug's. And I talked with them for a little while and I realized that what I have…isn't so bad when you put effort into it."

"I came here for a reason, you know."

"You mean besides my hot chocolate?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "I need a ride."

"Where to?"

"I want to go see my dad, Pacey."

"Visiting hours are over." The guard shook his head. "Besides, all the prisoners are asleep. I don't know if you've realized this, but it's three o'clock in the morning."

"We know," Joey assured him with a smile. "I just want to know when visiting hours are. And if I need to schedule time to see my father."

"What's his name?"

"Mike Potter."

"And your name?"

"Joey. Josephine Potter."

"Right." He noted something on his log and then handed Joey a card. "Twelve-thirty tomorrow afternoon. No gifts allowed without prior inspection." He glanced over at Pacey who was standing beside the car. "Will it just be you, Miss Potter?"

"Yes."

"See you tomorrow."

She nodded, running her thumb along the edge of the card as she headed back toward Pacey. "Something tells me a twenty dollar bribe isn't going to help tonight, huh?"

"Probably not. Although I can actually afford more now, if you need it."

"Nah. I'll just come back tomorrow." She shivered, pulling her sweater closer around her. "It's a little too cold out tonight for heartfelt confessions."

"You want to drive back to Boston?"

"We can just stay in town, don't you think? Rent a room?"

"Two rooms."

She nodded, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye as she slid into his car. "Right. Two rooms. Don't need this to play out like some sort of reenactment of my trip with Dawson."

"I just don't want to share a bed with you, Joey."

She flinched as if he'd slapped her. "I know that."

He nodded once. "Good."

They drove in silence to the motel, parking outside the office. Pacey looked over at her, silent since they'd left the prison. "Stay here, okay?" She nodded and he sighed. "I'll be right back."

She watched him walk away, disappearing into the brightly lit office. Tears stung her eyes as she turned her gaze away from him, staring out the window at the darkened cabins. Her forehead rested on the cold glass, watching the wind swirl the tree branches as rain began to spatter down on the already muddy parking lot.

Pacey was soaked when he climbed into the car again, shaking his head and sending droplets dancing in her direction. "Good news and bad news, Potter."

"What's the bad news?"

"The owner appears to be something out of some graphic horror movie with slicing and dicing and all sorts of other gory, bloody outcomes."

"And the good news?"

"Well, he assured me that he only preyed on virgins." His grin was infectious as he started the car and drove over to the cabin furthest from the office. "So I told him you were a hooker I picked up downtown."

"You what!" She turned and slapped his arm, trying not to laugh as he smiled at her, his eyes sparkling with humor. "You're so dead, Witter."

"The bad news is that they've only got one cabin that they're willing to rent us." He turned off the car and stared at the darkened building.

"What's the good news?"

He swung out of the car and hurried through the rain to open her door. He followed her to the cabin and unlocked the door, waiting until she was inside. She stopped when she realized he wasn't following her. "Night, Jo."

"Pacey?"

"The good news is," he tossed the key to her and started back toward the car. "You get the covers all to yourself."

She ran after him and grabbed his arm, shaking her head. Rain poured down around them, soaking them both. "You're not sleeping in your car. Just get your ass in the cabin and we'll work it out."

"No."

"Don't argue with me about this, Pacey." She held him tightly. "Come inside."

He swallowed hard. "I can't, Jo."

"I won't take no for an answer, Pacey. We're both tired, we're both wet. Come inside and take a shower and we'll just go to sleep."

He shook off her grip and turned toward the car. "I can't."

She grabbed him again and spun him around, sending them both down into the mud. She was above him, her wet face over his. "Why not?"

His hands were in her hair, his lips hot on hers. They rolled together, both of them covered in the slick, slippery mud as her hands burrowed under his jacket, digging past his shirt to find his warm skin. His hands left her dark hair, wavy and matted to her skin, down to her shirt. He pushed it up as he worked his way down her body, kissing her bared stomach and sucking on the smooth skin.

Joey groaned and arched her back, her hips grinding against his chest as he slipped between her legs, moving upward again as his hands bared her breasts. Cold rain and wind hardened the already peaked nipples, dark and rosy in the pale reflection from the office lights. Pacey muttered an aching groan as he captured one in his mouth, sucking hard at the taut flesh.

"Oh, God." She thrust up against him, feeling the hardness of his cock straining against his jeans, pushing against her. His free hand teased her other breast, pulling lightly on the nipple and massaging the creamy flesh. Joey writhed beneath him, splashing spatters of mud on them both as she freed her hands from his shirt and captured his head, bringing his mouth up to hers. "Pacey," she begged into his mouth, wrapping her leg around both of his. His cock was like a shaft of heat even through the two layers of denim.

"Joey," he breathed, rolling her on top of him. He was shivering as her thighs clamped around his, her body grinding down against his erection. "Jo…" He pushed her off of him, rolling away. He lay face down in the mud for a few seconds, his hips jerking of their own volition. Finally, he got to his hands and knees and looked at her, sitting a few feet away from him, stunned.

"I don't underst…"

He moved before her sentence was complete, pulling her beneath him and kissing her, his hand unfastening her jeans. The sound of her zipper was lost in the roar of thunder, her soft whimper as his fingers pressed against her panties not loud enough to be heard over the driving rain. "Baby," he begged, tears in his voice as he kissed her skin. "Joey…"

This time she pushed him away, her lips swollen from his kisses, her eyes wild. She stood up on shaky legs. Her jeans were open at the waist, the pale color of her panties stained with mud. Her body was bared, her shirt pushed up high, more tracks of his fingers visible on her skin. "Come inside."

He sat there at her feet, staring up at her, the pulse of longing like fire inside him. His eyes were tortured. "I can't."

She grabbed his hand and brought it to her breast, the hard pounding of her heart echoing against his palm. As he watched, she slid it down her body and into her jeans, letting him feel the same pulse of blood lower, his hand cupped over the mound of flesh, his finger pressed against the material that shielded her throbbing clit. "Come inside."

He forced himself to his feet, stumbling after her. Rain tried to wash away the mud that clung to them, failing by the time they'd reached the cabin door. Joey stopped and turned back to him, watching his hands as he slowly unbuttoned her shirt and let it fall to the floor before unsnapping the front clasp of her bra. He pushed her jeans down, leaving pale streaks of mud as his hands slid down her tanned thighs. He watched her step out of her shoes before reaching up and stripping her panties down the same path, easing them off with her socks.

The air seemed thin and shallow, both of them breathing hard to find something to fill their lungs. She slipped his jacket from his shoulders then unbuttoned his shirt as he'd done with hers. Thoughts of firelight seemed to seduce them as she lifted his undershirt over his head, the unsteady stillness full of memories as she let it fall wetly to the floor.

His jeans clung to him, protesting as she undressed him, sinking to her knees to help him out of the denim, his shoes and sock. She stayed there as she reached up for his boxers, easing them over his cock before lowering them to the floor.

They were both shivering as Pacey managed to reach out and find the door, pushing it shut on the cold night. The cool, crisp smell of rain and mud was fading in the build up of heat and desire as she wrapped her hand around the base of his cock and guided it into her mouth.

Pacey's hands shook, the muscles of his arms quivering as her hands found his thighs, caressing them as she sucked on him, her mouth engulfing him. One trembling hand found her hair and toyed with the wet strands as she pulled back, sucking hard at the tip, her tongue tracing the head, her eyes locked on his.

Her fingertips trailed up his thighs, over his hips to his ass, stroking the tensed flesh. She kneaded his skin as his teeth lightly scraped over the surface of his cock.

"Oh, shit…"

She pulled away, nearly breathless. Forcing herself to her feet, she moved away from him. The cabin was dark and she stumbled, falling back on the bed.

Pacey advanced without a sound, sinking to his knees and parting her legs, his hands firm on her thighs. His tongue pushed past swollen flesh and found her clit, flickering over it as she gasped. Her skin was hot and wet, slick and bathed with arousal. He tasted her, sampling her flesh like a fine wine, appreciating the delicacy now that he had another chance at it.

His tongue teased her, slipping inside her then pulling away, focusing on her clit then abandoning it as she started to moan. She begged him, tugging at his hair, pushing and pulling as she urged him inside her. He resisted, using his tongue and fingers to invade her, impale her, finally giving her force and pressure and release. Her body closed around him as her hips arched off the bed, trapping his fingers inside her, his tongue against her clit.

She relaxed slightly, panting, as he crawled up the bed, his cock pressed against her. Joey moaned again, the sound buried in his skin as his thighs moved between hers, the rough hair like a caress against her parted legs. She rolled her hips toward him, pushing upwards, wanting him.

Thunder and lightning crashed outside, filling the room with a blinding light. Pacey looked down at her, looked at his body poised above hers and shuddered, pushing into her with a hard thrust. Joey groaned as she rose up to meet him, soft flesh against hard, the haggard sigh of relief as he filled her escaping into the kiss as his lips came down against hers.

Pacey's hips met hers with every push, every thrust as she wrapped her legs around the small of his back, digging her heels into his ass. She broke the kiss and let her lips and tongue blaze a trail down his neck, her teeth sinking into the skin of his shoulder as he thrust upward, the rough hair at the base of his cock attacking her clit.

He groaned as he came, continuing to push up inside her. Quick, hard thrusts that faded into long, slow strokes as his body trembled above her. Joey whimpered as he slowed, grinding up against him as he continued to move inside her. His pace built, matching her shallow cries as they sped up, gasping for air as he thrust relentlessly, begging her in a soft whisper to bathe his cock as she came.

Joey's mouth opened in a wordless cry as she came, curling the comforter around her hands as her body tightened like a wire, clamping around his cock as she came, lights exploding behind her eyes.

Pacey rolled away from her, slipping off the bed onto the floor. He was breathing hard, suddenly shivering. Joey's legs dangled off the bed beside him, the goosebumps raised on her skin visible as the light from the bedside lamp came on. "I'll turn the heat on."

"Pacey?"

He got to his feet and moved over to the heater, switching it onto high before grabbing their clothes and draping them over the top of it. When he was finished he turned and looked at her, still laying on the bed where he'd left her, her head turned so that she could watch him. He looked away quickly, grabbing their shoes and setting them beside the heater.

"Do you hate me or yourself more?" She sat up and shook her head, her hands still curled in the comforter.

"I don't hate you, Jo. I can't hate you. Because I'm still in love with you." He sat in the chair opposite the bed and sighed, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. "And I've done just about everything I can to get past it, because we both fucking know that we've got no future together."

"Yeah. I remember that you decided that for us last year."

He ignored her comment and kept talking. "I've tried moving on, Joey but the fucked up thing is that everything is about you. I liked Karen, and I tried to figure out why and it came to me. She's spunky, feisty, and she seems to hate me. Now why on earth would I find that particular set of circumstances attractive?"

"I don't hate you, Pacey."

"Neither did she."

She flinched. "Fine. You've moved on. Karen's your girlfriend now?"

"No. Karen's leaving town because she doesn't want to deal with the consequences of breaking off her affair with our mutual boss. I imagine she might also not want to deal with me either, but I think Danny's the big part of her sudden trek to parts unknown."

"So this was just a one night stand. No harm, no foul." She looked away from him, not allowing her gaze to drift over his naked body. "We'll chalk it up to you being sad that your almost girlfriend is leaving town and me being sad because the love of my life is fucking some other girl."

"Fine." He gestured toward the bathroom, deliberately not looking at her. "Why don't you clean up first."

"Fine."

Joey stepped under the spray as soon as it was hot, letting the needle-sharp drops thread through her hair, over her face, washing away any trace of the tears that had begun falling as soon as the bathroom door had shut behind her.

He'd slept with Karen. Maybe more.

The door slid open and he moved in behind her, his hands circling her waist and sliding up to cup her breasts. His mouth moved along her shoulder to her neck, nibbling his way up to her earlobe. "What better way to get back at him than to fuck me again?"

She moaned as one of his hands slipped down, parting her skin and finding her sensitive clit. "Get back at who?"

He fingered the hard nub, teasing it unmercifully, pulling her back against him and letting her support herself on his body. "Dawson," he whispered, his palm rubbing over her nipple then moving down so that just his fingers encircled it. "Show him that him sleeping with Jen doesn't phase you. You're moving on."

Her arm circled his neck, her hand bringing his lips to hers. "Moving on." She nodded, then turned and pinned him to the wall of the shower, sinking down to her knees. She grabbed the bottle of shower gel and squeezed some into her hand before wrapping it around his cock, massaging it gently, surrounding it with a cascade of bubbles.

The water beat down on her back as her hand moved, her gaze locked on his as he watched her stroke him. She tilted her head and let the spray wash over him then moved back to take the tip of his cock in her mouth. His hands were flat against the wall behind him as her hand curled around his balls, massaging them as she sucked the hard flesh.

Pacey stared down at her, groaning as her free hand slipped down between her legs, her fingers finding her clit and playing with it, moaning around his cock as it moved down further, her thumb continuing to apply pressure to her clit as she slid three fingers up inside her.

His legs trembled as she focused on the tip, her tongue teasing the slit, the warm suction bathing him. He let loose a quiet moan from deep in his chest as she moved forward, sliding his entire length along her tongue, her own moan of pleasure reverberating around it as she edged closer to her orgasm.

Closing his eyes, Pacey tilted his head back against the shower wall and gave himself over to the sensations of her mouth, his hips thrusting toward her. The hand around his balls squeezed lightly and he grabbed at air, his fingers scrambling against the tile as his hips thrust toward her, the hot flood of come filling her, wrapping around him in a short instant before she pulled away from him, her own head thrown back, her fingers moving furiously between her legs as she brought herself to a shuddering climax.

He helped her to her feet and they leaned against one another as they washed away rain and mud and sweat and sex. Joey turned off the shower and grabbed one of the towels, passing it to Pacey. He secured it around his waist as she wrapped hers around her body then stumbled out of the room.

They fell into bed, exhausted, barely managing to pull the covers up over them before they were fast asleep.

Joey woke up to the smell of coffee, accepting the Styrofoam cup from Pacey's hand without even looking at him. "What time is it?"

"Ten."

"Mmm." She took another long sip. "Clothes dry?"

"Mostly."

She opened her eyes and looked at him, his clothes still damp and clinging, still muddy. "Wow. Maybe we should make a stop by a store before we head off to the prison, huh?"

"There's actually a Laundromat here. I washed your stuff." He gestured to her clothes, sitting on the heater, nicely folded. "Couldn't wash mine without giving a very scary lady a free show, but I think I'll live."

"Pacey…"

"I'm just going to be sitting out in the car, Jo." He shrugged. "You should get ready. It's a good half hour to the prison and I'm starved."

"No breakfast where this coffee came from?"

"There's food, if you're feeling generous enough to call it that." He shrugged and finished his coffee, tossing the cup in the garbage. "Personally, I'd have to go more with swill."

"Are you getting all snobby about food, Pacey? If it's not haute cuisine it's beneath you?"

"Potter, Denny's is haute cuisine compared to the grease piles that they claimed were scrambled eggs." He watched her as she gathered her clothes, the towel held loosely around her. "So get movin', Potter and I'll feed you."

"I can pay for breakfast, Pacey. It's the least I can do."

"Who has the job here, Potter?"

"You."

"And who is working at saving up money to pay for her next year at Worthington?"

"Me."

"And so who is buying breakfast?"

"You."

"That's right. Now go shower and lament that if Dawson had paid for your whole college career, you'd be able to afford to take me for a McMuffin."

"You're an asshole."

He nodded, standing up and catching the towel as she walked by, tugging her in his direction. Their bodies were close, heat radiating between them. He bent his head, whispering in her ear, his voice shivering down her spine. "That's why you love me."

Joey moved away from him and headed into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She tossed the towel in the corner, quickly pulling on her clothes. Dressed, she stared at herself in the mirror, wondering at the look in her eyes.

She unlocked the door and stepped into the main room, blushing as soon as she saw Pacey's knowing glance. "Afraid I wouldn't stay on my side of the door?"

"It's habit. I have a nosy roommate and I normally live in a bed and breakfast. Give me a break."

"Audrey pops in while you're in the bathroom?" He raised an eyebrow and tried not to smile. "While you're showering? Because that's some seriously nice fantasy material right there, Potter."

"Are we going to get something to eat?"

He let his gaze sweep down the length of her body, coming to rest just below her waistband. "You hungry?"

"Starved."

"Let's go."

"What are you going to say to him?"

Joey looked up from her omelet and shrugged, sighing softly. "I have no idea. I'm sorry, I suppose."

"Are you sorry?"

She wouldn't meet his gaze. "What do you mean?"

"Well, are you sorry?" He shrugged and buttered his toast slowly. "Or maybe I mean what are you sorry for? Are you sorry he's in jail? Or just that you were the one that put him there? I'm not…I'm not trying to hurt you, Jo. I just wonder what you're really sorry about."

She shrugged, tears threatening. "I don't know, really. I just…I don't want something to happen to him and to have his last memory of me to be the one where I'm showing him that I'm wearing a wire."

"You know what I'm sorry about, Jo?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry that you got hurt in all of that. But I'm not sorry that he ended up in jail. Because what he was doing put your whole family at risk. You and Bessie and Alex. All of you. And that thought - the thought that something might have happened to you because he was stupid or careless or…" Pacey shook his head. "That thought just kills me, Jo."

"You weren't even around," she reminded him.

"I sort of had my own issues at the time," he reminded her gently. "But that doesn't mean that I didn't worry about you. I just figured that…"

"What?" She smirked. "That Dawson would take care of me?"

"Yeah, to be honest." Pacey shrugged and took a bite of his toast. "I mean, that was his job back then. Your boyfriend."

"What would you have done if you'd been in his situation, Pacey? If you'd been my boyfriend?"

"Well, we all know I've got no love for the authorities in our small town," he chuckled. "But I think I would have gone to you first. Or to them myself. But then, I've been told I have a serious white knight complex, which has gotten me in trouble a time or two."

"Yeah. You do."

"But I see the world differently than he does, Jo. So of course I'm going to do the other thing. But it doesn't mean that either one is the right thing or the wrong thing. And the only true thing is what happened."

"I was scared. For me and Bessie and Alex, just like you said. And I was so hurt and disappointed, Pacey. I finally thought that things were going to go right and be easy. And since right after he came home, the whole thing with Dawson sort of fell into place, I just assumed that…" she shrugged, sniffing back tears. "And then, as is typical with poor Joey Potter, real life came back and bit me on the ass."

"You said I was the only one who'd ever done that." He laughed and reached out for her hand. "Don't worry about it, Potter. You'll say the right things, because you'll say what's in your heart. Maybe it's not all going to be what he wants to hear or what you want to have to say, but it'll be right."

She smiled and nodded at him, a light blush staining her cheeks. "Thank you."

"What for?" He stabbed his omelet and refused to look at her.

"For always saying the right thing."

"Why is it that only the women in my life seem to think I've got a silver tongue?"

Joey's grin lit up her face. "You really want me to answer that? And if you do, you really want me to do it in a family restaurant in the middle of the after-church crowd?"

Pacey smiled back at her and grabbed the check. "Come on, Potter. It's father's day."

Joey sank down across from her father and stared at him through the screen. He nodded toward the phone and she picked it up, barely masking a smile.

"What was that for?"

"I feel like I'm in a movie." She chewed on her lip for a minute and then smiled. "Hey, Dad."

"They told me you were coming, but I didn't believe it." He shrugged. "I thought you'd written me out of your life. Both you and Bessie."

"Things have happened." She rested her hand near the divider, not quite willing to meet his outstretched fingers. "Mitch Leery died."

"My God."

"It was a car accident. He'd looked away from the road and some guy had fallen asleep at the wheel and when it was all over, Mitch was dead."

"How is Gale? And Dawson?"

"And Lily. They had a baby. Mitch and Gale. They're back together and they had a baby. And they're fine. I think they're fine. They named her after Mom. The baby."

"That's nice."

"Yeah." She cleared her throat. "And you remember the Witters, right? I mean, of course you do. How could you forget. Pacey…Pacey and I dated for a while. And he helped Bessie and I remodel the house into a bed and breakfast. And we're doing well."

"That's wonderful, Joey. I'm so proud of both of you." He smiled sadly. "Your mother would be too."

"The reason that I'm here, Dad, the reason I had to come…I…" Joey blew out a deep breath. "When Mitch died, I felt like I had lost my own father. And I felt guilty about that. I felt guilty for not thinking of you that way."

"It's understandable, Joey."

"Maybe. Maybe it makes sense and maybe it's all right with you, but it's not all right with me. I have a father. And maybe he's done a few things wrong and maybe he hasn't always made the right decisions…but you're still my dad. And I love you." She wiped away the tears with her free hand. "And I needed you to know that, okay?"

"I love you too, Joey."

She put her hand against his through the divider. "And even though Mitch was a father figure to me? You're always going to be my father."

Pacey was leaning against his car as she walked slowly through the gates. She looked up at him, smiling though tears were slipping down her cheeks. "You okay, Potter?"

"Yeah."

"You ready to go home?"

"Yeah."

He waited until she was settled in the car before starting it. "How'd it go?"

"Just like you said, Pacey. I said what I needed to say." She shrugged and closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the seat. "And I feel better."

"Yeah?"

She nodded and turned her head toward him, keeping her eyes closed as she smiled. "Yeah."

Pacey smiled as well, pulling onto the main highway. "Good."

"Potter." He shook her shoulder gently, then sighed, easing her out of the car and carrying her toward the boat. As the reached the end of the dock, he set her on her feet and held her against him. "Potter. Come on. I can't climb on the boat and carry your sorry ass as well. So wake up."

"Damn, you're so romantic." She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and leaned into him. "Do you say these kinds of things to all your women?"

"Yeah. It really turns them on." He pushed her away and gave her a knowing smirk. "Now are you going to climb onto this boat or do I take you home?"

"Why'd you bring me here?"

Pacey flushed and shrugged. "I have no idea where you live, Potter."

"Oh." She pulled completely out of his arms and moved toward the boat. "Here's good. I'll sleep here tonight, if that's okay, and then I'll head home in the morning."

"Fine with me." He followed her onboard, heading straight for the bar as they moved inside. "Drink?"

"Can I have some more cocoa?"

"Sure." He started working on it, moving in the small space as Joey sat on the opposite side of the bar. "You want the blue stateroom or the green one?"

"Which one do you sleep in?"

"The black one."

Joey shrugged. "Either is fine."

"So, you've dealt with the Dad issue." Pacey poured milk into a bowl, whipping it with a light dollop of cream. "Now that just leaves Dawson and Jen."

"I told you how I felt about that."

"Right. But I have a feeling that you lied. Intentionally or not, I don't know. But I know that there's no way you've blown off the fact that Dawson slept with Jen that easily."

"It hurt," she admitted. "More than I wish it would have. But what I said was true. Dawson's my past. I've realized that. It doesn't mean that I don't still have feelings about it, but he's not…" Shaking her head, Joey watched him pour the milk into a double boiler. "I felt a little betrayed, I guess. I felt like someone had punched me. I mean two months ago he was telling me that we had to work on our future, that we had to figure out where we were going. Never once did that involve him going to bed with Jen."

Pacey ground the cocoa and sugar together, nodding.

"I guess I'm just worried. I mean, you and I, we took a long time to get to…" She stopped as Pacey stopped moving. "I'm afraid they're going to get hurt. Both of them. I'm afraid they're going too far too fast."

He calmly poured the milk into the cocoa mixture then filled both cups. Reaching for the cream, he swirled it over the dark liquid.

"They're both my friends…our friends, Pacey, and I don't want to see them hurt each other or get hurt or…why aren't you saying anything?"

"What do you want me to say, Jo? I told you after Mitch died that I understood all the shades of gray that typified a relationship between you and Dawson. This is just another variation to add to the mixture. You're still hung up on him and you will be for the rest of your life." He set the mug down in front of her. "God help anyone who tries to get in the middle."

"Isn't that what you do, Pace? You get in the middle of things? You said it yourself. You're the white knight. Tell me, did Karen ask you to give a shit about her fucking your boss? Did she ask you to intervene and get her out of it? Or did you just decide it was your job, your responsibility?" Joey smirked at him. "Did you move in and sweep her up onto your moral high horse? I have to wonder how you manage to get on it though, since you of all people have got no room to talk when it comes to sex. Did you lecture her on sleeping with a married man before or after you mentioned running Miss Jacobs out of town on the threat of prosecution?"

"I'll drive you home."

"Oh. Did I hit a nerve, Pacey?"

"If you don't give a shit about the fact that Dawson lost his virginity to someone lese, Joey, why don't you fucking tell me why you're attacking me? Why don't you tell me why you're so fucking angry right now? Why don't you tell me the truth, Joey?"

"I'm pissed off because no matter what I say or do, you can't seem to see what's right in front of your eyes, Pacey. You can't see that Dawson Leery isn't the fucking love of my life. You are!"

"And I'm supposed to divine that from all the time and energy you devote to me as opposed to Dawson? I'm supposed to glean that from the time you've spent with me, Jo? Or am I just supposed to believe this on principle because you would *never* lie to me?"

Joey tensed and shook her head, tears threatening. "Last night…"

"I tried to avert last night, Joey. Because I knew that it would all come down to this. You're hung up on Dawson. I'm in love with you. And no matter how many times you profess to love me, you don't do a damn fucking thing to show me that you do."

"What am I supposed to do, Pacey? What would it have to be to make you trust me? Believe me? I've told you the truth as far as Dawson and Jen are concerned. Yes. I was hurt. Yes. I felt a little betrayed. Probably a lot like Dawson felt when he found out about you and me." She watched Pacey's face harden. "And that betrayal is just as unjustified as his was." "There's nothing you can do, Jo. Nothing you can say. You and I…we're great together. In bed. Or in the mud or wherever it is that we're having sex. We make good friends. But we're nothing more than that."

"You're a liar."

"I'm a realist."

"I love you. And nothing's going to change that. I tried to get on with my life after you left and I did what I could. Maybe I reverted back to the Joey I was before I started dating you because it was easier and safer. But it was wrong, Pacey, because that's not the Joey that I am. And it's not the Joey I want to be." She watched him as he walked toward the window and stared out at the water. "You're like college to me, Pacey. You're continually challenging me and making me think and grow and be who I am. That's the Joey I want to be."

"That's got nothing to do with me, Joey."

"It's got everything to do with you! You think I got into Worthington just because of my grades, Pacey? Me? The girl who always thought she'd never get out of Capeside? You were my inspiration, Pacey. You made me believe I could do it."

"I don't need you to flatter me, Joey. I just need you to finish you cocoa so that I can take you back to your dorm."

"Who are you going to save next, Pacey?" She gave him a sad smile. "Do you need someone to save? Save me then. Since you think I'm so in love with a man who's just started sleeping with one of my best friends. Why don't you save me from my despair and my pain and my feelings of inadequacy? Save me, Pacey."

"I tried, Jo. I failed. Apparently only one man can save you."

"No, Pacey. I'm the only one that can save me. But you're the only one I want to love me."

He shook his head and took the mug from her hand, setting it on the counter. "Come on, Joey. I'll drive you home."

12/24/01