"Hey."

He pressed his lips together to keep from smiling at her exaggerated sigh. She looked awful. "You look awful."

"Wow, with a come on like that, it's no wonder you score all the hot chicks." Joey tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Anything new to rent?"

"You'll notice, perhaps, the new release wall that you walked past to get to me." He closed the magazine and pushed it aside. After a few minutes of silence, he ran his hand through his hair. "Seriously, Jo. Are you sick or something?"

"No. I'm not sick." She smirked at him. "You're really a charmer, aren't you?"

"I'm not trying to charm you, Potter. I'm trying to figure out what you're doing here and why you look like you haven't slept in a month."

"I want to rent a movie and mostly because I haven't." She looked down at the floor. "What time are you off work?"

"In about fifteen."

"You want to do something? Anything?"

He started to say something, the smart remark on the tip of his tongue, but stopped, clearing his throat. "Sure. That'd be okay. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know."

"We could…we could go to a movie or something."

"No. No movies."

He didn't mention that she was in a video store. "What about…you want to get something to eat?"

"Can we go to your house?"

"My house?" His eyebrows shot up. "Why on earth would you want to go to my house?"

"Forget it."

"No." He reached out, grabbing her arm before she could turn away. "I didn't say we couldn't go, Jo. I'm just not sure why anyone would ever want to. My house is, by far, the most dismal, boring place on earth. And my parents live there."

She smiled slightly. "It's just someplace different."

Someplace without memories of Dawson. He got it without her saying it, and for some reason it hurt slightly. "Sure. We can go to my house." She looked at him suspiciously and he smiled, trying to hide whatever it was she'd heard in his voice. "There's not much to do there."

"That's okay. I'm not up for doing much." She glanced around the store. "I'll find us a movie, maybe?"

"Sure, Potter. Sure."

"It's sort of a mess." Pacey pushed open his bedroom door then moved quickly to gather up a handful of clothes from the pile on the floor. He dumped them into the empty hamper then repeated the gesture until the floor was reasonably clean. "Okay, it's a complete mess, but I wasn't expecting company."

"Especially with Andie out of town, huh?"

He winced, recovering quickly. "I'd never bring a girl here."

"I'll remember that the next time I'm a girl."

"I meant a girlfriend." Pacey shut the hamper, sitting on it to keep it shut. "God, could you imagine me subjecting any poor soul to the horrors of my parents? I mean, I can hear my dad now. 'What kind of loser are you that you've settled for dating Pacey? Can't find anything better? Was the leper colony out of eligible bachelors?'" Pacey smirked as Joey smiled. "You can hear him too, can't you?"

"Yeah." She shut the bedroom door and moved over to his bed, inspecting it carefully before sitting down. "You haven't done anything embarrassing in here since the sheets were last changed, have you?"

"You're supposed to change the sheets? Since when?" He laughed as she stood up immediately. "I'm kidding, Potter. I'm not a complete cretin."

She looked back down at the bed. "You haven't answered my question."

"I haven't done anything you'd be in danger of sitting in, if that's your big worry." He got off the hamper and moved to his desk, sitting on the chair. "So…"

"How is Andie? I haven't heard from her in a while. I used to get letters every week and then all of a sudden they just stopped." Joey watched him carefully as she spoke, wondering if she should mention they stopped after Andie started mentioning another patient she was hanging out with. Seeing the look in his eyes, she decided not to.

"I wouldn't know. She's pretty much stopped writing me, too." He shrugged as if it didn't matter. "I mean, she writes. It's just not as often. Or as much."

And she doesn't sign them 'I love you.' Joey heard the unspoken words he left hanging in the air. "Look at it this way, a mental hospital is much better than potential jail time."

"How's Dawson, Joey? You heard from him?"

She recoiled from his hard questions. Tears stung her eyes and she pressed the heel of her palm to one of them to keep them from falling. She looked away, hating the outburst of emotion, hating not being in control. "Fuck you."

"Fuck me?" He laughed bitterly. "Fuck you, Potter. You think you're the only one who's lonely? You think you're the only one hurting? You think you're the only one who ever got screwed over by someone they loved or thought loved them?"

"How has Andie screwed you over, Pacey? Did she get sick just to spite you? To keep you from getting laid all summer long?"

"No. She was sick. And I wasn't enough to help her. As much as she meant to me, I couldn't do a damn thing to help her, Joey. I didn't have a choice in the situation; I didn't get a say in the matter. And she's gone and I don't know when she's coming back and every week I don't get a letter, I'm scared to death it means she's gotten worse and the next time I see her she's going to be wandering around the halls of some fucking mental institution wondering if I'm her dead brother."

Joey got up and headed for the door. "I should go. You and I just aren't…we can't…"

"Sit down, Potter."

"No. I need to leave."

"And do what?" He didn't leave his seat at the desk, didn't make a move to stop her, but she turned just the same. "Go home and sit on the couch you call a bed and pine away for him, wishing you could hate him? Or go sit in your boat outside his dock and stare up at his window and wonder if you're going to have the resolve to stay away from him when he comes home?"

"You don't know anything about us."

"I know everything about you, Joey. I know that as much as you want to hate him and as much as what you had to do sucked, you can't hate him because he made you do the right thing. Maybe he went about it the wrong way, but in the end, it was the right thing. And when he comes back, everything's going to go back to the way it was."

"No. I told him I didn't want to see him again."

"Yeah? And how long's that gonna last, Jo? Until you see him again?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against his bedroom door. "You've never felt like this about someone."

"No. I haven't. And I gotta tell ya, I'm so amazingly glad about that. It must be a real albatross around your neck to know that you've got to forgive him, because that's the only way he can be back in your life. And you two are so co-dependent on each other…"

"You don't know us!"

"I do." He stood up, surprised he was so angry. "I know you better than you know yourselves. I've known you two were hot for each other before either of you knew it. I could see it in the way you looked at him and I could see it in the way he didn't look at you. You're both blind and stupid and I have to live with seeing it every single, fucking day."

"So why don't you leave us alone?" She was shouting, the sound loud in the small room.

He sank back into his chair. "You came to see me."

"You're right." Her voice was back to normal, as if their shouting match hadn't just occurred. "I did, didn't I?" She walked back to his bed, sinking down on it. Without looking, she reached underneath and pulled out a stack of magazines. "Any of these new?"

"A few."

"I just want something without the pages stuck together."

"I always aim in a different direction, otherwise I don't get extended use out of them." He moved over to the bed, leafing through the stack. Pulling out one with a white cover, he handed it to her. "This month's issue."

"Thanks."

He reached behind her, ignoring her slightly ragged breathing, and pulled another magazine from under his pillow. "This one's new."

She glanced at the cover, her eyes sweeping over the face and heading straight for the over-inflated breasts. "Does that turn you on?"

"The boobs?" He shrugged. "In real life I'd be scared to death of 'em. But in fantasy it's pretty hot."

"Hmmm." She turned the pages, pausing for the cartoons. She got to the centerfold and opened it up, closing it without comment and turning back to the previous page. "She likes kittens and knitting."

"And a big dick that makes her scream like a banshee."

"Only when she gets it from behind from her girlfriend with a strap-on."

"While sucking cock."

"Of her hermaphrodite best friend."

He grinned. "You were always better at this game than I was."

"Well, I always had a stronger interest in scaring Dawson off of sex with other, more voluptuous women." She gave him a half smile. "Ooh! She also wants world peace."

"And to stay away from any sharp objects that might cause her breasts to pop."

Joey giggled and pulled the first magazine he'd given her in front of her. She flipped through a few pages. "I've read your magazine for years now and always thought that nothing like that ever really happened. But then it happened to me."

"Lemme guess. Three random women wanted to fuck him for no apparent reason."

"I was walking along the beach, just minding my own business when a gorgeous blonde called me over to her blanket. She was alone, her beautiful breasts pointed up to the sky. She asked me to help her apply her suntan lotion."

"To her nipples?"

"I happily complied. She sat up and took off her top. I was surprised at first, but then more than happy to slather her bare breasts with the creamy lotion. She tilted her head back and I shook the bottle, the thick squirt of white making me think of how hot it would be to shoot my load all over her gorgeous tits."

"Oh yeah, because nothing gets a woman hotter than finding random semen all over her."

Joey raised an eyebrow and smiled at him. "I was smoothing the cream in, making sure to concentrate on her hard nipples when she reached down into my shorts and started stroking my cock. I was hard as a rock, my ten inch shaft already throbbing in her hot grip."

"Ten inches my ass. This guy's dick is as small as your pinkie toe." He glanced down at her sandals and touched the pink painted tip. "Smaller, probably."

"I was about to say something to her when I felt hands on my shoulders. I turned my head, my hands still on her breasts, expecting to see some angry boyfriend ready to rip me away from my sunbathing beauty. Instead I saw two women, obviously twins…"

Pacey shook his head, grabbing the magazine from her. "I draw the line at incest, Potter."

"What are you talking about? It was just getting good!"

"Right. Weirdo." He flipped a couple of pages then stopped. "Here we go."

"Oh great. I get to read Pacey Witter's version of a good sex story."

"I know your readers are going to think this is too incredible to be true, but I have to share with someone. I was hanging out with my best friend and his on-again/off-again girlfriend one day, walking through some old run down carnival that seems to come to our town every year."

"Wow, does this person live in Capeside?"

"Shut up, Potter. You're spoiling the ambiance."

"Right. Ambiance. In a porn mag. Next you're going to be telling me that porn movies have plots."

"A-hem." Pacey stuck his tongue out at her. "My friend tells us that he's got to use the bathroom, and asks me if I'll take his girlfriend - they were in the on-again stage - on one of the rides. I agreed because that's what best buddies do."

"Really? And let me guess, best buddies also screw their best friend's girlfriend on the Ferris wheel?"

"You're jumping ahead. Quit it."

"Pacey, this one's boring. Mine had naked breasts by the second paragraph."

"You have no feel for mood."

"Because you read these for mood." She grabbed the magazine back and skimmed a few of the letters. "Oh, here we go."

"Great."

"He was my son's best friend, and I knew he had to be off limits, but there was something about him that made him impossible for me to resist." Joey winked at him. "Oh, maybe Gale's got the hots for you."

"Ew. Thanks for that image."

"Corey was eighteen and my son's best friend. He was spending the night like he did every Friday. And, as was the norm, my son had snuck out his second story window to run off and be with his girlfriend, leaving Corey alone in the room." She laughed. "Oh, God. This is so you and Gale."

"What?"

"Corey? Pacey."

"Yeah? And who's Dawson sneaking off to be with, Potter? Or are you tellin' me that you're a woman now?"

"Fuck you." She flipped him off and kept reading. "The lights were off when I opened the door to say goodnight, just like always. Only this time, the TV was on and the flickering light played over Corey's naked body. I watched the screen for a moment, recognizing it as a porn film from my extensive collection."

"Whew. I know for a fact that Gale and Mitch have no porn collection."

"You would." She looked up. "None? No porn at all?"

"Not a single one. Dawson's got more porn than they do."

"That's scary."

"Not as scary as this." He tapped the page she was on.

"Turning away from the thrusting couples on the screen, I looked back at Corey, sprawled naked on my son's bed. His skin was tanned and tight, showing off the muscles he'd developed in the local gym. I'd watched him as I worked out from time to time, imagining myself underneath him with every push-up, my post-workout showers cold more often than hot."

"Ew. Ew. Ew."

"His biceps were sculpted and large as he moved his arms, one hand wrapped around the base of his cock, the other stroking the long shaft. I walked into the room and shut the door behind me, pulling my negligee over my head."

"I know my mom always wears a skimpy negligee when she comes to say goodnight to me."

"More information than I ever needed to know."

"I was being sarcastic."

"My full breasts hung freely, and I was glad I'd had my son young so that they still stood out proudly. I moved in front of the television, blocking his view. He stopped stroking, his eyes focusing on my hard nipples. Without a word, I moved onto the bed and straddled him, my shaved pussy practically dripping as I felt his firm flesh against my thighs."

"Ooooooo-kay. I don't need to hear about any shaved, dripping pussy, thank you very much." Pacey grabbed the magazine, snapping it shut.

"What's the matter, Pacey?" Joey trailed her fingertip along his thigh, just underneath the hem of his shorts, her eyes holding his. "Was it getting you all hot and bothered?"

"No, frankly, the image of anyone's mom straddling her son's best friend was actually creeping me the fuck out." He shuddered. "So I think we've had enough porn for the evening."

"Does that mean I don't get to see an encore performance of 'Debbie Does Dallas'?" She pouted slightly. "What's a trip to Pacey Witter's humble abode without a good helping of smut?"

"I'm afraid my supply is depleted, Potter. Mom had a fit of housecleaning, so the only stuff left is Doug's gay porn."

"Did you ever think he just labels it that so you'll leave it alone?"

"Not really, no." He thought for a second. "Doug's not that clever."

"I don't know, Pace. He looks pretty clever to me." She batted her eyelashes. "In fact, if he weren't so much older…"

"Do NOT go there. Ever. I'd rather think about Gale hitting on me than imagine you with my brother. So let's just stop this conversation right now."

"We've never raided Doug's room. You owe me."

"I owe you?"

"Yeah. For all the times I did reconnaissance? When I scoped out your sisters' rooms to get all the diary goods? You needed me back then, Pace. So you're just going to have to pay up now."

"You want to raid Doug's room." He shook his head. "You're not worried about finding strange things in there? Like weird lubricants or sex toys?"

"Think of all the fun you can have torturing Doug with such ill-gotten knowledge."

"Hmmm. You have a point."

Joey sat on the edge of Doug's perfectly made bed and watched as Pacey shut the door behind him. He turned around and gestured at her to come closer. "Get off his bed. He's gonna know we were here."

"He doesn't live here anymore, Pacey."

"He moved a couple of miles away, Joey, he didn't leave the country. It's not like he won't be back."

"And he'll know that we were the culprits that made his sheets all wrinkly?" She slid off the bed and leaned against it, her arms crossed over her chest, her smile mocking.

"Well, when you put it like that, Potter." He pounced in her direction, tackling her and sending them both sprawling on the bed.

She shrieked and shoved him off of her, leaning over the edge and smiling down at him as he lay smooshed between the edge of the bed and the wall. "Whoops. Did I do that?"

"Yeah. You also made sure I'll never have children, but don't worry, I won't hold it against you."

"You got kneed because you held it against me." She offered him a hand. "Don't bump your head on all of Doug's trophies on the way up."

"Thanks for fueling the inferiority complex. It needed help." He got to his feet, ducking to avoid the shelf that hung over the bed. He edged around the mattress and stopped in front of Doug's dresser. "So, if you were my straight-laced but not straight brother's stash of porn, where would you be hiding?"

"Wouldn't he have taken it with him?"

"Nah. Mom probably packed for him and didn't realize he'd need it to sustain him through the long, lonely Capeside nights." Pacey picked up a pencil from the top of the dresser and opened the first drawer, using it to lift the few remaining clothes. "Nothin' in here."

"People keep porn in their dressers?"

"Where would you keep it?"

"Under the bed." Joey slid off the bed, making sure to mess it up as she moved. She lifted the corner of the bedspread and peered down into the empty space. "Wow. Even his dust bunnies are clean."

"Doug is frightening with the Dirt Devil." Pacey opened the next drawer, finding nothing. "Under the bed's too obvious. Too cliché."

"You'll notice that's where you keep yours."

"I'm clichéd. Besides, I'm not really trying to hide it, since my father thinks I'm a complete reprobate anyway. Doug, however, is the golden child, so he'd have to be more discreet."

"The closet?"

Pacey chuckled. "Frighteningly apropos."

Joey opened the bi-fold doors and shrugged. "Lots of empty hangers."

"Lots of boxes on the top shelf."

"They're all games."

"You remember the last time we played Life, Jo?" He pointed to the familiar white box. "I believe you snapped the board in half, wrestled me to the ground and shoved the little pink pegs up my nose."

"One of my happier memories."

"Which means we don't have a Life game anymore." He reached up and pulled the box free, handing it to Joey. She carried it over to the bed and pulled the lid off. Pacey glanced over her shoulder. "Voila."

Joey picked up a pair of red lace panties carefully, barely touching the material. "They're too small for him to wear."

"Maybe he's got a petite boyfriend."

"Or maybe there's a reason Bessie was always needing to go underwear shopping in high school." Joey dropped them on the bed. "Handcuffs."

"Regulation?"

"Velvet lined."

"Hmmm." Pacey picked them up and slipped them into his pocket. "Excellent."

"You're not going to use those on Andie, are you?" She shook her head immediately. "Never mind. I didn't ask that."

"I didn't think so." Pacey reached around her again and lifted out a videotape. "You think it's Pistoning Pete and his Anal Posse?"

"I think you're disgusting."

Pacey laughed and carried it over to the VCR. "Shall we see?"

"I don't know, Pace…"

"You're the one that wanted to raid Dougie's room. You have to watch." He turned on the TV and VCR, sliding the tape into the slot. "Who knows, Potter, maybe you'll learn something."

"If it's two men, I think you're going to learn a lot more than…oh my God." Joey sank onto the bed. "I don't think Doug's gay."

"Unless Doug's a woman." Pacey sank down on the floor between her feet. "Holy shit."

Joey nodded, even though he couldn't see her. The brunette on the screen was naked, lying on a pristine white bedspread, her hands held in place above her head by the dark-haired man kneeling above her. On top of her was an equally naked blonde, a strap-on cock pushing deep inside the wet flesh of the brunette, her mouth wrapped around the man's cock. "Holy shit," she echoed quietly.

They both sat there silently, watching the scene play out in front of them. Joey shifted slightly, trying to ignore the heat pooling in her stomach. Glancing down quickly to make sure Pacey's gaze was still locked on the screen, she placed her fingers between her legs, applying pressure through the denim of her shorts.

Pacey pulled his legs up, nearly groaning as his shorts rubbed against his erection. Watching it was bad enough, but the soft sound of Joey's breath behind him was making it painful. "Well. Okay." He got to his feet, using his hand to shift his erection as he walked over to the VCR. "Doug's porn. There we go." Reaching out to turn off the TV, he accidentally hit the volume. The room flooded with the hungry sounds of moans and breathing, the brunette's quiet pleas for release as the blonde above her pulled away from the cock she was sucking just as the man came, the creamy stream of come landing on the brunette.

"Wait." Joey didn't realize she'd spoken as Pacey reached out to turn off the TV again. He stopped and she stared in rapt fascination as the blonde and the man both began licking the brunette's face and chest clean, the blonde still rocking the strap-on inside her. Finally, the brunette groaned deeply, the sound shaking as it left her.

Pacey glanced back at Joey then at the screen again as the blonde kept moving, finally pulling the strap-on free of the writhing brunette. He reached down, adjusting his cock again as the blonde straightened and the man leaned over the brunette, opening his mouth to suck her orgasm off the thick, flesh-colored dildo.

Pacey fumbled with the buttons, finally snapping off the TV before turning to face her. "So…what do you want to do now?"

Joey flushed as he met her eyes, sure that her body was telegraphing every single impulse directly to his brain. "I have to go to the restroom." She bolted from the room, not looking back as she slammed and locked the bathroom door behind her.

Pacey watched the closed door for a few seconds, his mind very vividly reminding him of what she was most likely doing behind the door, sending him hurrying through his parents' room and into their bathroom, locking the door behind him as well.

Pacey glanced up at Joey as she walked back into his bedroom. He gestured toward the bed and the pile of snacks on it. "I went downstairs and brought back reinforcements."

"Thanks." She sat at the head of the bed, piling the pillows behind her as he stretched out on the far end. She grabbed a bag of Fritos and opened it, pulling out a handful. Pacey lifted his remote and turned on the VCR. Joey looked at him nervously until the music started.

"Don't worry. It's just a good, old fashioned TV show." He took the bag from her and poured chips onto his bedspread. "I taped some of my favorite episodes when they had a marathon a while ago. I thought they'd be good for chilling out."

She nodded as Rod Serling's voice took over the room, reaching for a package of cookies. "How do you survive on this stuff?"

"I do eat other stuff." He shrugged. "I used to eat at the Icehouse all the time."

"Like that was healthier?" She smiled weakly, the name still obviously painful. "Next you're going to tell me you think the stuff you wolf down in the school cafeteria is actually good for you."

"Leave me to my delusions, Potter. Besides," he held up a Frito, "this is a corn chip. Therefore, it is made out of corn. Corn's good for you."

"Oh, I'm stunned by your logical argument." She laughed and took a bite of her cookie, settling back against the pillows as the episode started in earnest.

Pacey grinned back at her then turned his attention to the TV. They ate and watched in silence until it ended. Pacey hit pause and turned back to face Joey, wondering if she wanted to dissect the episode or if it would strike too close to home. He was about to speak, stopping as he saw her, curled up against the headboard, cookie crumbling on the pillow beside her, her dark, tired eyes finally closed.

"Have you slept since he left, Potter?" He asked quietly, removing the food from the bed and setting it on his floor. Carefully slipping off the mattress himself, he grabbed the comforter that was shoved down to the foot of the bed and pulled it up over her before sitting on the floor. He pressed play and leaned back against the mattress, turning down the sound to keep from disturbing her rest.

8/22/02