Doug snapped the lever down and moved to the far wall of the room, giving Tobey plenty of space. The younger man was shaking slightly, his hands cradling his elbows as he hugged himself. “Have you ever had anyone hate you for something you had no control over? Or worse, hate you for something they think you’ve done? Or think you’re thinking?” He didn’t wait for Doug to answer, simply kept talking. “I didn’t think about it much after it happened. I just wanted to pretend that it was all a stupid accident, a one time thing.”

“Matthew Shepard’s murder was a one time thing. For him.”

Tobey nodded. “I’m an activist. I mean, I get these students together and push them to defend themselves, stand up for their rights, demand to be treated as if we aren’t some breed apart, something to be stared at, made fun of.” He sank into a chair, still holding himself together. “Beaten up. Killed.”

“But it’s different when it’s you?”

“I’ve been beaten up before. Every day on the way home from school. These bullies would wait for me and then beat the crap out of me until my sister came along and saved the day. So getting beaten up is nothing new. But those guys back then? They knew I was gay. And they were junior high and high school kids scared to death of anything different. Scared to death of their own feelings that they didn’t understand. These guys…” he gestured to the other room, toward the men he’d picked out of the lineup. “Those guys. They knew what they were doing. They wanted to beat the gay out of me. That’s what they said.”

“Didn’t seem to work.”

“Yeah, well, I got the industrial strength gay. It’s tough to get out.”

Doug laughed. “Those guys, people like that? They’re everywhere. And it’s not just because you’re gay. Most of the time, it’s just because you’re different. And because they feel small. And beating up on someone they think is smaller makes them feel like men. But they’re not.”

“Men?” Tobey grinned at Doug. “Oh, they are. I was checking one of them out.”

“They’re not men, Tobey. They’re those same guys that used to beat you up after school. Only now they’re bigger and meaner.” Doug shrugged. “I wish that weren’t so, but it is. And you know it.”

“I do.” Tobey took a deep breath. “I should go.”

“You want a ride home?”

“No. I brought my bike.”

“I’ve got the department off-road vehicle. We’ll stow your bike in the back and I’ll take you home. I don’t think you’re quite ready to face the world on two wheels.” Doug led him out of the room and signed out, telling the secretary he was taking off for the day. Tobey followed him to the parking lot where Doug pulled the car up alongside the bike rack.

“I really don’t need a ride…”

“I do have the authority to arrest you and force you to accept my generosity. Now get in.” Doug smiled and waited as Tobey lifted his bike into the back and then climbed in the passenger’s side.

They drove in silence for a while until Tobey turned to look at him. “I’ve been out since I was really young. Eleven.”

“That couldn’t have been easy.”

“Jack’s been out a couple of years.”

“Which I know wasn’t easy for him.”

“You?”

“What?” Doug diverted his eyes from the road to cast a surprised glance at Tobey. “What?”

“How long have you been out?”

“I’m not…what makes you…” Doug stopped talking, forcing his eyes back to the road.

Tobey raised his eyebrows. “I’m sorry. I thought you were. I mean, nevermind.”

“You know how there are people that aren’t exactly tolerant? Of anything they consider an aberration?”

Tobey nodded. “I think the reason I was in the police station today is proof of that.”

“My father is one of those people.” Doug sighed. “So in answer to your question, I’m not. And until the day my father drops dead, I won’t be.”

“You’re going to let him ruin your life like that?”

“Ruining it like this is much preferable to the ways he could ruin it if he found out.” Doug shook his head. “I want to be a cop. It’s what I do, it’s what I’m good at and it’s what I love. Everything about it from the most minute detail to the grandest extravaganza. But if my father, the sheriff, for a second, suspected that Pacey’s gay jokes were hitting a little too close to home?” Doug shrugged. “I would be looking for work in some gas station on the edge of town.”

“I didn’t realize.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Doug shrugged and pulled off to the side of the road. “I’d appreciate it if this went no further. Not even to Jack.”

“Of course not.” Tobey opened the door and slid out of the car, stopping to turn back to Doug. “What about…everything?”

“Everything…” Doug paused for a telling second. “Everything comes to those who wait.”

Doug swung open the door, rubbing his eyes free of the thickness of sleep. He peered into the dimly lit hallway, surprised to see Tobey standing there. “Is there something wrong?”

“Yeah,” Tobey nodded, his gaze drifting down Doug’s body. He was wearing a wife-beater style tank top and a pair of slightly baggy, dark blue boxers. “There is.”

“What is it?”

“Well, I was thinking, and I think your life is wrong. I think waiting is wrong. I think…” He stared into Doug’s blue eyes, “I think that…ah, fuck it.” Tobey moved in, leaning into Doug’s body and pressing his lips against the older man’s.

Doug gasped and pulled back, his face a mask of fear and surprise. “What the hell are you doing?” Doug grabbed Tobey’s arm and pulled him into the small apartment, shutting the door behind him. “Are you insane?”

“Maybe,” Tobey nodded. “A little.”

“I…” Doug stopped, catching his breath. He ran a quick hand through his hair, ruffling the dark strands. He raised his free hand and brought it up to Tobey’s cheek, his thumb stroking over the slightly stubbled surface. Tobey’s tongue darted out, licking his lips as Doug stared at them. “Tobey…”

Tobey shook his head and turned it slightly, letting his tongue brush over Doug’s palm. The older man let out a thick moan before leaning in to kiss Tobey in earnest this time; his own lips firm as they met his. Doug’s tongue snaked out and into the lazy heat of Tobey’s mouth, their tongues brushing, dueling silently.

His hands shaking, Doug placed his thumbs under the earpieces of Tobey’s glasses and gently pushed them up his face until he was free of them. His hands guided the glasses to the table near the door before coming back to frame Tobey’s upturned face. “This is so wrong,” Doug informed him in a soft whisper, his lips brushing over Tobey’s eyes, feeling the lashes flutter under his kiss. “You’re way too young to be propositioning me. You have a boyfriend. You…”

“Are old enough to make up my own mind.” Tobey turned his head, raising it just slightly so that his lips touched Doug’s. “So just shut up and kiss me, all right?”

Doug smiled as he worked his way down Tobey’s face with feather light kisses until he reached Tobey’s lips, parted and warm. A laden sigh swam between them, full of promise. Tobey’s tongue slipped into Doug’s open mouth, capturing his soft breath and swallowing it, sucking on Doug’s tongue.

Doug’s hands curved around Tobey’s face, sinking into the thick, dark blond strands. He took over controlling the kiss, stroking the inside of Tobey’s mouth with the tip of his tongue, seeking out every surface, tasting him hungrily.

Tobey pressed forward, his body hard against Doug’s. His hands curled into Doug’s hips, capturing the slippery silk of his boxers between his fingers. The roughness of his jeans brushed against Doug’s erection, straining against the thin material that covered it. They moved together, stopping only when they bumped up against the back of the couch.

Doug broke the kiss, pushing Tobey away from him. “We…” he breathed deeply, trying to get his voice, his body under control. “We really need to stop this.”

Tobey moved to his side, leaning back against the couch as well. “Why?”

“Why? Well, other than the reasons, the very valid reasons, I listed earlier? I barely even know you. And…”

“And you’re not attracted to me?” Tobey cast a pointed glance in the direction of Doug’s noticeable erection.

Doug sank to the floor and rested his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands. “I don’t think that *that* particular issue is in question.”

“Is it because…” Tobey paused and sank down next to Doug. He gave him a curious look. “Am I the first…”

“Shit.” Doug laughed. “No. I said I wasn’t out of the closet. I didn’t say I was fucking pathetic.”

“I didn’t mean…”

“I know you didn’t.” Doug reached over without looking and rested his hand on Tobey’s. Instinctively, Tobey turned over his hand and laced their fingers together. “You?”

“Am I fucking pathetic?” Tobey laughed softly. “No, I’m not a sweet, innocent thing. Sorry if that was the turn on.”

“Right, I was expecting sweet and innocent from the guy who barged into my house and climbed up me for a kiss?” Doug turned his head and caught Tobey’s gaze. “Trust me, your potential innocence didn’t even enter my mind.”

“What did?” Tobey’s thumb ran over Doug’s wrist, feeling the rapid pace of his pulse. “Enter your mind?”

“How sexy you look in those damn glasses.” Doug closed his eyes as Tobey’s thumb caressed him.

“That’s it?”

“You want me to say that I wondered what it would be like to touch you? To feel your naked body against mine? To be inside you? To have you inside me? To feel your tongue against my cock?”

“Is that what you thought?” Tobey asked breathlessly.

“My thoughts weren’t that coherent,” Doug admitted. “But the very vivid pictures in my head were something to that effect.”

“So why are we sitting here?” The question was hushed and pained, full of hunger. “Why aren’t we kissing again? Why aren’t I,” Tobey toed his shoes off then shrugged his jacket off his shoulders. “Getting undressed so that I can feel your lips on my skin?”

“I already explained…” Doug watched in a quiet kind of awe as Tobey’s T-shirt landed on the floor at their feet. “Tobey…”

Free of his own shirt, Tobey reached over and tugged at Doug’s wife-beater, urging it off his body. Doug let him undress him, unwilling and unable to stop Tobey’s determined hands as they pushed gently on his skin until Doug lay back on the floor.

Tobey got to his knees and unfastened his jeans, pushing them down his legs before lying beside Doug and kicking them off completely. They lay there beside each other, words no longer necessary, no longer meaningful. As his hand reached out to touch Doug’s erection through the dark blue silk, he leaned into the older man, capturing another kiss for his effort.

Doug rolled toward Tobey, a shuddering moan rending the air, although neither was sure who had uttered it. Tobey’s hand slipped between them, resting over the hard curve of Doug’s cock. Doug’s hands moved in response, sliding over Tobey’s hip and reaching around him, his short nails digging into Tobey’s ass.

“Closer,” Tobey urged him, lowering his hungry lips to Doug’s neck and sucking lightly on his skin. They both moved, needing to close the distance between them. Doug maneuvered his leg between both of Tobey’s, bringing their bodies in relieved contact.

Tobey’s cock, covered in the soft cotton of his boxer briefs, pressed against Doug’s, accompanied by soft, hungry grunts of peaking desire. Tobey’s hands moved over Doug’s body, stroking his hot flesh with greedy touches. Doug’s hand found Tobey’s shoulder and eased him onto his back, moving over him. “Tobey…”

The blond shivered at the sound of his voice and opened his eyes, mesmerized by the sultry blue of Doug’s. “Yes?”

He pulled away slowly, making sure that his touches lingered as his body moved away. Grasping Tobey’s hand, Doug pulled him up as well. They stood close, swaying into one another without realizing it, without thought. Doug didn’t answer him, just took his hand and led him to the French doors that led into his bedroom.

Tobey paused just outside the door, the double bed looming before them. Doug stopped and looked back at him. “It can stop right here.”

Tobey’s eyes traveled along Doug’s body. The dark hair thick on his legs that led up to the deep blue of his boxers, pulled taut by his erection, the smooth chest sprinkled lightly with hair, to the chiseled features of his face, straining indifference. “Is that picture still in your head?” Doug nodded, his throat too thick to speak. “Then I have no intention of leaving.”

With a renewed sense of confidence, of purpose, Tobey walked into Doug’s bedroom and stopped right in front of him. The electric pull that permeated the air around them seemed to intensify with proximity. His hands moved to Doug’s hips for a long moment before pushing the silky fabric to the floor. Doug hissed with pleasure as one of Tobey’s hands slipped over his skin and surrounded his cock.

Tobey’s firm hand moved along Doug’s length; smooth, hard strokes that threatened to shatter Doug’s tenuous grip on his arousal. In a show of restraint, his hand covered Tobey’s as he eased away, pulling him along toward the bed.

The room was silent, save for the harsh, hungry pants of air, forced through throats constricted with need and desire. They reached the bed and Doug trapped Tobey against the mattress as he eased the younger man’s briefs to the floor.

Doug’s sigh of appreciation echoed around Tobey’s cock as Doug took his thick length into his mouth. Tobey muttered a soft prayer of relief as Doug’s mouth closed around him, encasing his cock in electrified heat.

Tobey’s muscles trembled as Doug’s mouth moved over him, caressing the sensitive skin with lips and tongue, both applying pressure as they worked their way along his shaft.

Doug’s hand encircled the base of Tobey’s cock, warm against the taut skin as he released him, the air of the room cool against Tobey’s wet flesh. Moving his head, Doug rested against the smooth skin in the hollow near Tobey’s hip, placing soft, seductive kisses all along the upper curve of his thigh.

Tobey’s fingers pressed into Doug’s shoulders, searching for support for his shaky limbs as well as kneading the firm muscles in a halting attempt as seduction.

Doug raised his free hand to Tobey’s waist and gently guided him down onto the bed. Tobey’s gaze hovered between hungry and questioning, his trembling hands giving away his loss of control.

“Lie back,” Doug encouraged him with a soft growl, whispered like a caress. Tobey did as he was told, his head raised slightly as he watched Doug move easily between his legs.

Doug’s dark hair shrouded his view as Tobey felt his cock engulfed again, swallowed, awash in sensation as Doug moved in earnest, one hand firm, flat against his abdomen, his fingers encircling the base as the other hand shadowed the movement of Doug’s mouth, sliding over him slowly.

Tremors flowed through Tobey’s thin frame as Doug’s mouth and hand slipped along hard, wet flesh, faster and firmer. Doug’s lips formed a tight ring of steady suction around the swollen tip as his hand stroked Tobey’s full length, using pressure and speed to force Tobey’s body to tense, muscles clenched, aching for release.

As Tobey’s hips arched off the bed, Doug slid along the young man’s cock, his lips brushing his own hand at the base. Encased in the velvet heat of Doug’s mouth, Tobey let out a guttural moan of triumph, his body jerking as relief came, thick and warm.

Tobey lay on the bed exhausted, his heart pounding in his chest. He felt Doug’s hands moving over him, cleaning him, the practical use of a sensual touch. A lifetime later, Doug was beside him on the bed, naked and close.

Tobey turned toward Doug, losing himself in the crystal blue of his eyes. His hand lifted and he ran it lightly over Doug’s chest, his thumb teasing the hard nub of his nipple. Doug’s hand settled across the nape of Tobey’s neck and he pulled him close, teasing his lips open with a probing tongue.

Tobey slid his knee between Doug’s, moving closer, trapping Doug’s cock between them. He reached for it, his thumb stroking the tip, massaging the drops of pre-come over the satin-smooth head.

Doug’s eyes were closed, his breathing harsh and loud in the quiet room. His hips moved instinctively as Tobey began stroking his cock, teasing the hard shaft with a tender, light pressure that refused to satisfy.

Tobey’s hand stopped as Doug rolled on top of him, hovering over him, his intentions, his desire clear in his eyes. Something timeless and primal fired inside Tobey, and he felt his cock harden again, rubbing against Doug’s erect shaft.

Doug caught Tobey’s lower lip between his teeth and sucked on the firmness of it for a second before hoisting himself up off the bed, putting distance between them. Tobey rolled slightly, following Doug’s motion, laying on his side as Doug settled on the edge of the bed. He leaned over and Tobey moved again, his lips grazing the strong line of Doug’s back, his cock now insistent against Doug’s hip.

Turning his head, Doug looked down at Tobey and ran a hand through his hair before turning back to his task. Tobey’s hips began moving, thrusting his anxious cock against Doug’s body, smoothing the length along the rough, muscled thigh.

Doug turned finally, facing Tobey. His large hand was gentle as he guided the younger man onto his back. Tobey moved willingly, unable to keep his hips from rising up in offering. With tender urging, Doug stroked Tobey’s skin, easing him onto his stomach. Tobey shuddered in excited anticipation as Doug moved behind him, his strong hands settled on the smooth curves of Tobey’s ass.

His cock brushing against the soft bedspread, Tobey raised himself slightly, moaning low as Doug’s skilled hands massaged the tight flesh.

Leaning down, Doug scraped his teeth across one of Tobey’s ass-cheeks, nearing groaning himself as Tobey thrust down against the bed. He smoothed his hands along the backs of Tobey’s thighs before picking up the condom he’d taken from his nightstand and sliding it along his swollen length.

The cool of the night air seemed to intensify as Doug’s hands settled once more on Tobey’s ass, his fingers laced with lubricant. Tobey closed his eyes, smothering his soft whimpers of need in Doug’s pillow, forcing himself to lie still, refusing to give in to the pure pleasure as lubrication gave way to penetration.

The tight muscles closed around Doug’s finger like a vice, sending a minor shockwave through his system. His cock practically jumped in response, wanting to be sheathed. His finger moved as his mouth had earlier, building the tension slowly.

As Tobey’s body gave in and started moving with him, Doug slipped a second finger past the ring, moving slowly once again until Tobey’s violent shaking stopped. A third finger broke past Tobey’s self imposed silence as he cried out, pushing back against Doug’s hand. Doug stilled his movement then removed his fingers slowly, prolonging Tobey’s pleasure as well as delaying his relief.

Tobey inhaled sharply as he felt the tip of Doug’s cock against him, the smooth cool of the condom the first sensation, overwhelmed at once by the wave of heat that rocketed through him as Doug pressed into him, his thick cock stretching the muscles to accept him as he moved forward with slow, shallow thrusts.

Doug stopped, his body flush against Tobey, his cock buried in the younger man. Tobey lay beneath him, panting hard, his hand wrapped around his own cock. With a shaky breath, Doug began thrusting against Tobey again, both of them moving together, opposite one another, colliding in a rapid hungry rhythm. Doug’s cock begged for release; Tobey’s ass tight around him, his sheathed tip pressing against Tobey’s prostate, both of them remembering to breathe just before it was too late.

Barely coherent, losing his tenuous hold on his control, Doug panted Tobey’s name as he held his hips, rocking forward into Tobey, who was shivering and sweaty, caught somewhere in lustful ecstasy. He stroked his cock in time with Doug’s thrusts, that grew shakier and shakier until he pressed into Tobey and held him, body to body, the molten rush of come easy to sense even through the layer of latex.

Feeling Doug’s release as well as the expelled sigh of relief on his feverish skin, Tobey’s hand moved relentlessly on his own shaft, stroking the erect flesh, begging his body under his breath, “Come on, come on.”

Suddenly, Doug’s deep voice was in his ear, overtaking his mantra, his body moving inside Tobey once again.

“Come on, Tobey. Come for me. Come on, Tobey,” his voice was husky and sensual, demanding and enticing. “Come for me.”

“Oh…oh fuck,” Tobey sighed in relief as he spun out of control, the creamy stream blending silently into Doug’s bedspread.

Silence permeated the room as Doug slipped from inside him, disappearing into the bathroom for a few moments. Tobey was sitting on the edge of the bed as he returned. His head was bowed, his body still naked. “So what now?”

Doug shrugged his response as he sank down next to Tobey. “You’re the one who came over here with seduction on your mind. What was your plan for after?”

“I didn’t have a plan,” Tobey admitted with a laugh. “I didn’t think I’d get further than the first kiss.”

Doug smiled at the floor, his fingers drumming nervously on his knee. “You have a boyfriend.”

“Yes.”

“You like him?”

“Yes.”

“You serious about him?”

“We just stared dating two weeks ago.”

“And how do you think he’d feel about this?” Doug stopped drumming, instead rubbing the dark hair that decorated his thigh. “Go home, Tobey.”

“Just like that?”

Doug finally turned to face him, tilting Tobey’s chin so that he couldn’t look away. “I think Jack is the best thing for you right now. But that doesn’t make tonight any less…special.”

“Right.”

“Tobey…” Doug touched his lips lightly and shook his head. “Goodnight.”

Doug rolled over, wincing as the morning sun hit him full in the face. He sighed and smiled at the beautiful boy that shared his bed.

Tobey was smiling back at him, his glasses perched precariously at the end of his nose. “Morning.”

“Morning.” Doug’s smile was slow and lazy. “Been awake long?”

“Long enough to put my glasses on, since you think they make me look sexy.”

“They do. But not nearly as sexy as lying there naked makes you look.” He leaned into Tobey and kissed him long and hard. “But you should go before I have to explain the presence of a naked, nubile young man in my bed.”

“If you were fucking me,” Tobey pressed against him, cock against cock. “There’d really be no explaining to do.”

Doug licked Tobey’s neck. “Tell me how you convinced me to let you stay last night? Especially since your idea borders on the verge of getting me in a hell of a lot of trouble.”

Tobey pushed Doug onto his back and began kissing his way down the smooth surface of his chest. “I think it had something to do with me sinking onto my knees and sucking your cock until you begged me for mercy.” He looked up, his eyes laughing above his frames. Slipping his glasses off, he bent his head back down to the object of discussion and kissed the tip, his tongue licking away the drops of moisture gathered there. “Remember?”

“Vaguely,” Doug managed to moan as Tobey took his entire length into his mouth, stroking it with skill as his hand massaged Doug’s balls gently. “To…bey.” Doug gasped softly, unable and unwilling to stop him. HI ships moved eagerly with Tobey’s mouth. “It’s…please…you have to…” Doug’s back arched as Tobey’s mouth continued moving over him, swallowing the thick fluid. “Stop,” he whispered the final words. “Stop.”

Tobey got to his knees, straddling Doug’s thighs easily as he found his glasses and put them back on. “I have to go. Before my folks find out I didn’t come home last night.”

Doug watched him as he slipped off the bed and started dressing. “How will you explain your night out?”

“I won’t,” Tobey reassured him. “I snuck out, I’ll sneak in.”

“And if you get caught?”

Tobey moved back to the bed, straddling him once again. He was dressed in his shirt and boxers, smiling down at Doug. “I’ll ask my folks to invite a policeman over to talk about my indiscretions.”

“Are you suggesting,” Doug caught the ends of Tobey’s shirt and pulled him down on top of him, “that I abuse my position of power?”

Tobey grinned and pulled away, backing off Doug’s prone form, dropping a kiss on the head of his cock as he did so. “I’m suggesting that you tell my parents not to worry, you’ll make sure whenever I go out, I’ll have police protection.” Tobey slipped on his jeans and walked back to the bed, settling on the mattress beside Doug. “Besides, I might want to be in a position of power from time to time.”

“Get out of here.”

Tobey shook his head as he leaned down, kissing Doug softly. “Next time can we use your handcuffs?”

“Only if you manage to get yourself arrested.”

Tobey pushed his glasses up and stood, headed for the door. “I’ve always wanted to become a career criminal. If I start a riot, do you think I could get you to use your nightstick on me?”

Doug laughed. “Get out of here, Tobey.”

His voice carried back through the open apartment door. “I could resist arrest.”

Doug shook his head, still smiling, as he climbed out of bed and headed for the shower, wondering what the hell he was going to do with his very own eighteen year old.

05/28/01