Cuddy raised an eyebrow as she glanced at him over her shoulder. "You have been flirting with Debbie in accounting."

"She's a nice girl."

"You're married."

"House pointed that out."

"You're also sleeping with your boss."

Wilson caught her waist and pulled her down onto his lap, his breath warm against her ear. "House didn't point that out though, most likely because he thinks I'm flirting with Debbie in accounting."

"So Debbie's a clever ruse to keep House from knowing that you're sleeping with me?"

"Debbie is cannon fodder." He brushed her hair away from her neck and ran his tongue along her pulse. "Distraction."

"She's an awfully pretty distraction." Cuddy closed her eyes and leaned back against him as he slid one hand around her waist, down her stomach and down further still to the hem of her short skirt.

"Greg knows my taste in women." He caught the edge of her skirt and tugged it higher, his hand skimming along her thigh. "I couldn't just pick Imelda in the cafeteria."

"I happen to know that Imelda is a very nice woman."

Wilson's fingers skated over the damp material of her panties. "I'm not interested in nice women."

She turned her head slightly and met his gaze. "What kind of women are you interested in?"

He leaned in and brushed her lips with his own. "Fishing for compliments?"

"Curious as to how you see me."

"I prefer to see you sprawled out on your bed, scantily clad and waiting for me." He slipped a finger beneath her panties and barely brushed the wet flesh. "Which I can honestly say is not how I'd like to see Debbie in accounting." His finger slipped deeper, finding her clit and applying slight pressure before circling it slowly. "Or Imelda in the cafeteria for that matter."

"This probably isn't wise," she managed to breathe as he slipped another finger against her wet skin. "Here. Now."

"Everyone's riding the high of helping Amy." He bit her earlobe but eased his fingers free of her. "I told House to live a little, surely you're not going to deny me the same privilege."

Cuddy sighed and slipped off his lap, adjusting her skirt. "You telling House to live a little no doubt necessitates me being there to head off any damages." She glanced at the closed blinds that separated the patio leading from House's office to Wilson's. "The devil's work is never done."

"Are you referring to yourself? Or Greg?" He got to his feet and followed her to the door, pinning her against it. He pressed his cock against her ass as he inhaled her, his tongue feathering along the base of her neck. "Let Greg get into trouble. Hell, let someone else get Greg out of trouble. Isn't that what you hired Stacy for?"

"It's my hospital he'll bring down with him." She turned and rested her hands on his chest. "I have to go, James."

He sighed and pushed away from her, heading back toward his desk. "Save the world."

"No." She returned his sigh and pulled the door open. "You do that. I just file the paperwork."

"It's not a good look for you."

Wilson looks up from his paperwork at House and then turns back to the chart. "What's that?"

"That tie mostly, but really I was referring to that hang-dog expression. What's the matter? Little woman not putting out?"

"You really shouldn't refer to Julie that way."

"Who's talking about Julie? I meant Debbie in accounting." House angled himself into the chair opposite Wilson. "Why isn't there someone dying in here?"

"You mean dying here specifically or someone with a terminal illness?"

House sighed and leaned back, stretching his legs out in front of him. "I was hoping for a floor show, but since you can't manage to oblige…" He cracked one eye open and nailed Wilson with it. "So, are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"In general?" Wilson ticked items off on his fingers. "Gas prices are soaring. War in Iraq. Hurricanes on the gulf coast. Famine in Africa. Helen in HR is planning a seminar on sexual harassment, to which I think you are the guest of honor, and…"

"I meant with you and Cuddy."

Wilson's jaw stiffened. "There's nothing going on with me and Cuddy."

"I don't mean you and Cuddy in the you and Cuddy sense," House went on. "I mean, none of that k-I-s-s-I-n-g or anything like that. But there's something." He tapped his cane on the floor twice. "Whenever there's a meeting or something comes up one of you manages not to be there. You haven't threatened me with her interference in nearly a week."

"I don't know. I'm certainly not avoiding her." He copied House's gesture and tapped his pen. "It's a big hospital, we work different shifts occasionally. I'm sure it's just a coincidence."

"I'm not a big fan of coincidence." House stood up. "She's not wearing her normal outfits."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Gone are the short skirts and décolletage. Now it's all turtlenecks, weird scarves and pants. It's disconcerting. Not to mention it makes the day more boring. Helen won't have to have her little seminar if Cuddy keeps this up."

"So, what? You want me to talk to her? You think I'm going to influence her clothing choices?" Wilson shook his head. "I think she just got tired of you talking to her chest instead of to her."

"Her chest usually had more interesting things to say." House sighed. "All right. Don't do it for me. Do it for all the dying men in the cancer ward. Do it for the young boys who have terminal cancer who might never get to see a pair of ta-tas. Take one for the team, Willie-boy."

"What do I have to say to make you go away?"

"Say goodnight, Gracie."

"Goodnight, Gracie."

House waggled an imaginary cigar. "And promise you'll kiss and make-up with Cuddy."

"I'm not fighting with Cuddy."

"Maybe not," House agreed. "But you're not fucking her anymore either."

"We need to talk."

Cuddy looked up, her mouth drawn into a thin line. "I'm in a meeting."

Wilson glanced at the secretary taking careful notes and the bland business suit opposite Cuddy. "Fine." He slammed down onto the low couch. "I'll wait."

"Fine." She turned back to the man opposite her and managed a smile. "So, as you can see, Mr. O'Conner, there's quite a bit of opportunity here at the hospit…" She glanced at Wilson. "Excuse me." She turned toward her secretary. "Can you take Mr. O'Conner on a quick tour and I'll join you at the maternity ward? I'm so sorry, Mr. O'Conner, but Dr. Wilson is my head of oncology, and I really should have a quick word with him."

"No problem at all, Dr. Cuddy." He reached out and shook her hand as they both stood. "I'd hoped to get a good look at my business's potential investment anyway. Perhaps a less formal tour will give me the inside information I wish to know." He nodded toward Wilson. "Dr. Wilson."

Wilson didn't respond as Mr. O'Conner was led from the room. He got to his feet and locked the door behind them, snapping the blinds closed. "That's not the wisest course of action, you know."

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

Cuddy raised and eyebrow. "I'm sorry?"

"I want to know what you were thinking. What possibly could have crossed your mind to think that telling Greg House that we were sleeping together was a good idea. Hell, it's not even a good enough idea to be a bad idea. It's the kind of idea that's like slitting your own fucking throat."

"I'm sorry," Cuddy began coolly as she settled back at her desk, her hands folded together on top of her calendar. "You're going to have to start over and, preferably, start making some sort of sense. Because if you honestly think that I would so much as hint to Greg House that I was having sex with anyone…"

"Maybe it slipped out when you weren't aware of it."

"And when would that be, Dr. Wilson?" She snapped. "When exactly would I just let it slip that, oh by the way, I'm screwing your one and only friend in this world?"

"Maybe when you were screwing my one and only friend in this world."

Cuddy's eyes narrowed and she sat perfectly still, only the pulse in her jaw moving. "I would advise you to recant your last statement, Dr. Wilson."

"Why? Hit a little too close to home?" He rested his hands on her desk and leaned closer. "I mean, why not, right? You'll fuck a married man, why not his best friend?"

The flash of Cuddy's hand registered after it made contact, the sharp sting pulsing through his skin as the sound hung in the air. "Get out of my office."

Wilson didn't touch his face, despite the bright red mark that stained it. "Gladly."

"Uh oh." House shook his head and poured himself a cup of coffee. "You did something naughty, didn't you?" He pulled another mug from the rack and filled it as well before walking the first one to the table and sliding it in front of Wilson. "No. Not naughty. We established there was no naughty going on. You did something stupid." He grabbed his own coffee and sat down. "Tell daddy all about it."

"I have a hypothetical question for you."

"Does it involve internal organs that go pitter-pat?"

"You're finished with Cameron, right?"

House held his coffee cup in front of his mouth, poised to drink. He lowered it, swallowing hard though he hadn't taken a sip. "Pardon?"

"Cameron? You're done with her, right? It's all over between you? No hard feelings, no more longing looks? She's yesterday's paper, tossed out in the recycling?"

House set the cup on the table and pushed it away from him. "Do I want to know why you're asking this? Because, to be honest, this reeks of revenge sex and Cameron's not really revenge-sex material. She's more the cuddly bunny, first time is magical, probably fakes her orgasms to make you feel manly sex. Besides, her mooning around after me was bad enough, I don't know that I can take her doing it to you. Besides, aren't you still married?" He picked up his coffee again. "And how was that in any way a hypothetical question?"

Wilson rubbed his temples with the fingers of both hands. "Forget it."

"So this is about Cuddy."

"I'm not some goddamn disease for you to diagnose," Wilson snapped. "I don't need your differential on my life." He closed his eyes and fell back against his chair. "I also don't need you fucking my girlfriend."

"Oh, okay." House laughed. "You're kidding. You have to be kidding. Please, I beg you, tell me you're kidding. You don't honestly think that Cuddy would…" He shook his head, his laughter fading. "Come on, Jimmy-boy. You think Cuddy would stoop so low as to sleep with me?" He paused then gave him a thoughtful look. "Although I'm sure she's the type that likes it on top and I would be a prime candidate for her to explore that side of herself." He stopped at Wilson's look. "Oh, come on."

"You come up in every single conversation."

"I'm a popular guy."

"And all of a sudden thing change."

"I'm an annoying guy? Capable of killing the mood in a single mention?" He sipped his coffee again. "Maybe the thought of having to deal with me and my troublemaking ways is enough to destroy her libido."

"Or maybe the thought of you suddenly makes the thought of fucking me unappealing."

"I'm sure no woman would find the thought of fucking you unappealing. Of course, I find it hard to believe you're capable of fucking anyone, but then I remember your long list of ex-wives and it's not so hard." He shook his head. "I can't believe you're sleeping with Cuddy."

"I can't believe you're not."

"Neither can I sometimes." House set his cup down. "But I'm not." He glanced toward the hallway where Cuddy, Mr. O'Conner and her secretary were walking by. "I saw the two of you after the cancer kid left. My stoic heart was being touched by her hug, but all I could see was you and Cuddy talking and looking at each other. The penny didn't drop until in your office." He smiled. "As parting shots go though, you have to admit it was a pretty damn good one."

"Prize winning."

House nodded as Wilson got to his feet. "James?"

"Yeah?"

"Stay the fuck away from Cameron."

"You got a call." Wilson closed the door behind him and shrugged off his jacket. The cold air had turned both of his cheeks red though one still felt warm. "House."

"Thanks."

"Tell him not to call here. He sees you all day, he can make his snide comments out of my range of hearing."

"I'll tell him."

"Again."

Wilson nodded as she turned back toward the kitchen. "Again." He picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number.

"House."

"Wilson."

"Ah, and what did the dulcet tones of Mrs. Julie Wilson say about me tonight?"

"She wondered why you were calling."

"Did she tell you that I was calling to ask you if you'd made up with your girlfriend yet?"

"No."

"Probably because I forgot to mention it to her. See what a good friend I am?" Wilson sighed and he went on. "You should have known I wasn't sleeping with Cuddy. I never even like the girls you have sex with."

"You liked Stacy well enough."

"True."

"And I know for a fact that…" He stopped. "Why did you call?"

"I tell you, people have no manners these days." House sighed and Wilson rolled his eyes. "I just happen to know that Dr. Cuddy is being called in later this evening on a consult with a particularly nasty patient."

"You're being admitted?"

"It is quite possible that the whole thing will be a false alarm."

"And were I to show up, she'd assume that I had something to do with it?"

"I was thinking more that you could pretend that said particularly nasty patient thought he might have cancer and pestered the staff into paging you at home as well." "And you think she'll buy that, do you?"

"I think that she'll be so pissed off at me she'll forget that she's pissed off at you and you two can kiss and make up."

"And you thought it was wise to call me at home and tell me this rather than just having me paged?"

"I had to let someone know how clever I was, otherwise it's not clever, it's just sneaky."

"Thank you for making the distinction."

"Besides, I was sort of hoping Julie would listen in, be all offended and leave you in a huff of righteous indignation."

"And take with her at least half of my belongings and net income?"

"Well, there's a cloud to every silver lining."

"Goodnight, Greg."

"Where is he?" The nurse took a step back from Cuddy and shrugged, turning away quickly. "How is it that we have pagers and cell phones and no one can manage to find me the one doctor that I need here right now so that I can wring his scrawny, interfering, meddling neck?"

"You rang?"

"You." She pointed at House. "You are in more trouble than you can possibly imagine. There is no legal name for the amount of trouble you're in."

"does this mean I get the spanking? Or that I don't?"

"Helen in HR has a few words for you, assuming you're still employed at this hospital when I'm through with you." She stabbed him in the chest with her finger. "What you did was unethical, potentially illegal, and possibly life-threatening to everyone in this hospital. I know you think that you're not subject to the laws of God and man, but you can bet your ass that you're susceptible to every single one that I will have Stacy throw at you." She stabbed him again. "You've gone too far this time, House."

"Wow," he rolled his eyes in Wilson's direction as he hurried down the hall. "Somebody needs to get laid."

"Get out of my hospital. Get out of my sight." She whipped her eyes toward Wilson and House's team. "And take your roving band of sycophants with you."

"Hey! They'd resent that if they knew what it meant. Wouldn't you, guys?" House fell in step with Cuddy as she stormed off, his gait causing him to fall behind as she charged ahead. "Does that mean no Christmas bonuses?"

"You know how to charm the ladies," Wilson murmured under his breath.

"She's all riled up for you, Jimmy, my boy."

"Fabulous. She'll eviscerate me with her own manicure."

"Not if its French. The French don't do anything war-like." He saluted Wilson as he hurried after Cuddy. "And whatever she it is she says I did, Dad, I completely disavow any knowledge." He glanced back at Cameron, Foreman and Chase. "Come on, kids. Let's got have a milkshake at the diner."

"You could have gotten us all fired!" Cameron informed him.

"True. But you had offers, remember? You've got no right to be upset. The criminal and the pretty boy, well now, they've got a right to be pissed." He tugged at one of her curls. "C'mon, Betty Lou. The sock hops a-waiting and that urine won't spin itself."

"Insufferable, smug, sanctimonious, unconscionable bastard." Cuddy slammed the door of her office open and reached down to tug off her shoes, throwing them hard at the opposite wall. "I need his head on a fucking dartboard."

"He's partially incapacitated. Take away his cane and he'd have to just stand there. You could just throw darts at him."

She turned around and grabbed the door, one hand shoving against Wilson's chest. "Get out. Go play with your buddy in the no girls allowed club. I don't want to see or talk to either of you. Ever."

He nodded once and then eased away from her hand, slipping into her office. "I actually arrived last on the scene, officer. You want to tell me what happened?"

"He…that…" She shook her head sharply, her hair flying around her face as it slipped free of her loose bun. "You'll read it all in the legal documentation. He's gone too far this time, and I'm not going to put up with it. I've put up with too much at his hands, and…" She stopped. "Of course, you think I've put up with more than work at his hands, don't you? Well, rest assured, Dr. Wilson, Dr. House and I have officially broken up."

"It was illogical, I know that. But he just kept coming up…"

"Like a bad weed. And invasive, destructive virus that won't go away no matter how many times you get vaccinated for it." She paced the room. "Or worse, the common cold. So simple we can't even manage to get rid of it."

"He's brilliant."

"He's insidious and he's taking three perfectly good doctors in Chase, Cameron and Foreman and ruining them." She picked up her shoes from where they'd fallen and threw them again at the opposite wall. She pressed her fingers hard to the middle of her forehead. "Fuck."

"The patient?"

"Oh, the patient's fine. Perfectly fine, or will be. That's the damn problem. He destroys my hospital and my standing and all the other work we do, but he cures the damn patients and they love him, even though he's absolutely despicable." She fell back onto the couch. "That's the damn problem."

"So you're not sleeping with him." Wilson sat down beside her, his hands clasped together between his parted knees. "You're just in love with him."

"Ha!" Cuddy shook her head. "I learned my lesson regarding Greg House the hard way. I can assure you the only feeling I have when it comes to him is the most grudging of respect." She sighed. "I have to respect him, because he does cure his patients 99% of the time. But I can't respect his methods. And I can't always handle the fact that he's so pervasive that he follows us everywhere, even to the bedroom."

"We've never been in a bedroom."

She managed a weak laugh. "Maybe this is the best thing. I mean, honestly, what are we doing, James? I'm your boss. You're married. Your best friend is my arch nemesis. There's nothing in this that isn't a recipe for disaster."

"The sex is amazing."

"Yes," she admitted. "The sex was amazing."

"I was worried because every time his name came up, the last thing you wanted to do was have sex with me."

"And you thought it was because I'd rather be with him? What kind of masochist do you take me for?" She leaned against him as he slipped his arm around her. Her hand fanned out on his thigh as he kissed the top of her head. "Of course, ending it like this would mean that House did me a favor."

"And you can't have that."

She shivered at the low thread of his voice as it hummed against her skin. "No. I really can't."

"If we stay in your office he's going to crow about what happened for the rest of our lives."

"But if you storm out of here and I storm out separately, we could meet back at my place, my bedroom." She tilted her head and looked up at him. "It would be a colossally bad idea."

"House will be relentless in his attempts to set us back up."

"He'll throw us together at every opportunity." Her hand slid up his thigh and curved over his erection. "And just get more and more frustrated when nothing seems to work."

"You see? Hanging out with him does have some advantages."

"You start to think like him?"

He leaned in and kissed her slowly, his tongue teasing the edges of her lips before delving into the heat of her mouth. "Exactly."