Remus put his book down and sighed, meeting James's smiling eyes. "I was reading."

"You're always reading, Remus." He sat up and pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them. "What's it this week? Something equally dry and boring as your last foray into Muggle literature?"

"Just because you've no taste doesn't mean my literature is boring." Remus kicked lightly at James and set his book on his bedside table. "What are you doing here anyway? Aren't there girls to impress?"

"Slytherin's got the pitch today." He shrugged. "Besides, I've impressed all the girls already today."

Remus's eyebrow rose mischievously. "Even Lily?"

"Oh, shut up." James jabbed a foot into Remus's thigh. "Lily's decided that I don't exist, and I doubt seriously there's anything I'm ever going to do to change her mind." He sighed and glanced around the room. "Where's Sirius?"

"He and Peter are serving detention with Filch."

"Ah," James rubbed his hands together. "That's right. For something I did, if I recall correctly."

"You know they're going to get back at you in spades, don't you?"

"I look forward to them trying." James laughed and stretched his legs back out along the bed. He was silent for a long moment then looked at Remus, his eyes serious. "Can I ask you a question, Moony?"

Remus raised an eyebrow then shrugged, somewhat wary. "I suppose."

"Have you ever…" James blushed and looked away before meeting Remus's eyes and shrugging. "You know."

"Have I what?"

"You know." James insisted, flushing hotly. "Been with…shagged. A girl."

"Why are you asking me this?" Remus looked away nervously, drawing his own legs up, a false sense of protection from James's question.

"Well, I can't ask Sirius. He'd lie. Or inflate the truth or blow smoke up my arse. And Peter'd lie to look more worldly. You'll tell me the truth."

"Have you?"

James shrugged and bit his lower lip, his eyes dark as he mulled the question over. "No. I mean, I've done…stuff. But not…I want…well, no."

Remus nodded. "Yeah."

"Yeah?" James's eyes widened. "You have?"

"You don't have to look so bloody surprised," Remus snapped, his cheeks burning with high color.

"I'm not. I mean, I am, a bit, but simply because…well, who? Someone here?"

"No." He shifted uncomfortably. "A girl…sort of girl, back home."

"A sort of girl?" James asked.

Remus's flush darkened and he turned his gaze away from James. "My next door neighbor…"

"Sweet."

"Her mother."

"Remus!" James's eyes went huge as he leaned forward and punched Remus in the arm. "You bastard!"

"It wasn't…her parents…oh, bloody hell." Remus fell back on his pillow and covered his face with his hands. "Go away, James. Let me die of embarrassment."

"Hell, no!" James laughed and turned, lying beside Remus. "You scored a coup, my friend. Older women are said to be quite the amazing thing." He shook his head in awe. "Cor, Remus, I never suspected. You old dog, you."

"Oh, shut up." Remus moaned quietly. "I didn't bloody plan it. I was over there one day mending a fence I broke one full moon when I got out of the basement. We told them wild dogs or something, some lie, another lie. She was at home alone, she brought out some lemonade and then she was…I don't want to discuss this." Remus sat up, pulling away from James's interested gaze. "I really, really don't."

"Why didn't you mention it?"

"It's not my shining hour, is it? I slept with someone else's wife, didn't I? I'm like some sort of…bad plot device." Remus ran a hand through his shaggy hair.

"I'd kill to have some older woman initiate me," James said softly, honestly. "It's got to beat this bloody fumbling around, listening to the girl huff irritatedly when you don't know what's supposed to feel good. I mean, they're different, aren't they? All different bits and parts and nothing works the way you'd think it does."

"I did my share of fumbling."

"I bet she told you things though, right? Steered you?" James turned on his side, propping himself up on his elbow. "None of this exasperated sighing as if you're supposed to know everything already even though you're just bloody sixteen and it's not like she knows any better as well, after all. I mean, it's attached, isn't it? Not some pull string on a toy or something."

Remus laughed in spite of himself. "It wasn't bad."

"Anyone else?"

He shook his head and lay back on the bed, turning to face James. "No."

"Anyone you've fancied?"

Remus shook his head, his eyes narrowing slightly as James continued looking at him. "What?"

"You ever kissed a bloke?"

"What?" Remus pulled back slightly, breath catching somewhere in his chest. "What?"

"I was," James flushed and avoided Remus's eyes, "this summer, I went to London and walked around a bit. I ended up somewhere and there were these blokes. All decked out in leather and spikes and they were snogging against this brick wall. I swear I stood there forever watching them. It was…strange."

"Strange?" Remus asked softly, slightly choked.

"I wondered what it would be like. I mean, I was watching them and I thought, for a moment that it'd be simple, wouldn't it? The same equipment, the same everything. None of this guesswork and getting it wrong. And it was odd," James shifted on the bed, his hips angling downward, the subtle movement drawing Remus's eye to James's waist, the slight bulge he was trying to hide. "Exciting. A bit."

Remus licked his lips, staring into James's eyes. He shook his head slightly. "No."

"No?"

"I've never kissed a bloke."

"Oh." James nodded, his head bobbing slightly as if unable to stop. "I'm not…you know, gay. I fancy girls. I like girls." He licked his lips, still staring at Remus. "I mean, I want to shag girls. A lot."

"I don't," Remus breathed, nearly silently. James muttered a soft 'oh' in response and leaned in, pressing his lips lightly against Remus's. Remus moaned softly as James's hand tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, their bodies suddenly touching, rubbing. He threw a leg over James's and thrust slightly, unable to help himself as James's mouth opened, his tongue sliding over Remus's.

James's hands were suddenly against Remus's chest, pushing him away. Remus sucked in air, panting harshly as James scrabbled away from him, nearly falling off the edge of the bed in his effort to stand. "I do," he assured them both, nearly frantic. He ignored Remus's helpless glance at his erection, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. "Like girls."

Remus didn't say anything as he sat up, his breath still hard to catch, his head swimming, drowning.

James glanced at the door then at Remus. "I have to…" He gestured to the door and started walking, backing away from Remus's bed. "I won't tell. Anyone."

The corner of Remus's mouth quirked in a sad smile. "Even Sirius?"

"Especially Sirius," James assured him feverishly. "Can't you hear him now? Teasing me about being a po…" He swallowed hard. "Oh."

Remus shook his head and slid off his bed, leaving the too small expanse of the mattress between him and James. "I've a Prefect meeting." He grabbed his robe and pulled it around him, giving James a nod. "I'll see you tonight."

"Remus!" James grabbed his arm as he passed then dropped it, glancing at his hands with frightened eyes before turning them on Remus. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Remus shrugged. "I'm sorry enough for the both of us."