Giles looked over the menu, his worried eyes barely taking the words in. "What's your special?"
The waitress looked up from her pad, meeting his eyes as he raised them. Shock registered on both of their faces. "Gi…chicken fried steak." She took an involuntary step back from the table, ready to run if necessary.
"I see." He peered at her nametag. "Anne. I think…I think I'll have the special."
She nodded, "Coming right up."
Watching him as he ate, Buffy noted the traces of darkness on his skin, echoes of bruises Angelus had given him. His fingers were still splinted together and his eyes seemed sad. He looked up from the greasy plate and they locked eyes, all of his questions and concerns buried in his green depths. Moving away from the counter, Buffy walked over to his table and sat down.
"You new in town?"
Giles was silent; unsure of what game she might be playing. She seemed different, more defensive, and were it not for the pure goodness that seemed to radiate off of her, he might have believed it was someone other than Buffy. Other than his Slayer. "No. Just passing through."
"Business or pleasure?"
"Business. I'm looking for someone. A girl."
"Found one." She grinned and Giles was suddenly startled to realize she was flirting with him.
"That's not…I'm not looking for a girl in that respect." He blushed, feeling the heat burning the tips of his ears. "She's sort of in my care and I…"
"I could be in your care," Buffy stated with a smile. "And you in mine."
Giles was beginning to doubt his senses. Perhaps he was mistaken. Perhaps this wasn't Buffy at all. Perhaps killing Angelus had taken more from her than he had permitted himself to suspect. "As I said, I'm not interested." He looked away from her, glad she had no way of knowing that he was lying. Buffy, as his Slayer, meant the world to him. He would die for her. Had suffered torture for her.
But Buffy, the young woman who lit his days with a mixture of joy and exasperation, was far different from his Slayer - his duty. That Buffy was the one he never allowed himself to think of, knowing she was reserved for someone else. Anyone but himself. That Buffy was the one he took to bed every night in his dreams.
That Buffy was the woman known as Anne, sitting across from him in some greasy spoon restaurant in some uncharted little town along the California highways.
"Funny." She got off the bench she was sitting on and moved to sit beside him. Her hand slipped onto his thigh, her fingertips barely brushing against his groin, grazing his rapidly growing erection. "You seem interested."
Silence hung in the air between them as her hand slid up his thigh, cupping him through the material of his slacks. Giles stared into her blue eyes, trying to read the emotions there. Reaching down, he caught her hand in his own and pulled it away from him. Swallowing hard, Giles shook his head. "You're mistaken."
Buffy pulled her hand from inside his, then captured his with her own, guiding it down so that he could feel how hard he had grown from her touch. "One of us is mistaken. I don't think it's me." She let his hand go, leaving it there. "I get off work in two hours. Meet me here?"
He didn't say a word, simply watched her as she slipped away, heading back toward the kitchen. Pulling out his wallet, he tossed a handful of bills on the table and left the restaurant, heading for his hotel.
Leaning against the wall of the employee's area, Buffy took a deep breath. She'd simply intended to throw Giles off the trail, make him think he'd found someone who was like her, but most definitely not her. So she'd flirted and touched, fully expecting him to react, recoil in horror and disgust and leave her alone.
Instead, he'd responded as though he liked what she'd said and done, his body encouraging her even as he words pushed her away. Biting her lower lip, she looked at herself in the mirror. Pulling the handkerchief from her hair, she shook it and let it tumble loosely around her shoulders. Could Giles really see her that way? Did he see her that way?
Thinking of the feel of him against her hand, growing harder as she stared into his eyes so boldly, she blushed. She'd expected the feel of him to make her feel ashamed and embarrassed. Instead it had made her feel liquid and molten. Knowing that her hand, her words were exciting him, made her feel powerful again, instead of weak and helpless.
She'd felt nothing but helpless since she'd pierced Angel's body with the sword, closing the gate and saving the world. She'd felt weak and alone, lonely and desperate. She'd missed the company of her friends and family. But even more, she'd missed the feeling that being the Slayer had always given her.
The feeling she'd had once more as Giles had responded, just as helpless against her as she felt against the world.
She'd asked him to meet her. At first, she'd convinced herself that it was only to let him know that she was okay and she'd be home as soon as she felt it was right. But now, looking at herself in the mirror, feeling beautiful and desirable again, she knew that the real reason was very different.
As much as she wanted to feel powerful again, the real reason was simply that she needed to feel. She needed to feel loved and treasured, the way only Giles could make her feel. But this time, she wanted to feel more as well. She needed him to make her feel more. And she needed to feel him.
He told himself that his intentions were honorable. He'd come here to make sure she was all right. He'd come to see for himself that she was alive and unharmed physically as she recovered from the mental anguish Angelus had made her suffer through.
"Bullocks," he whispered to himself. He'd come because all he'd thought about in the intervening two hours was the feel of her hand against him, wondering all the while how it would feel to have her touch his skin. How it would burn to taste her kisses.
Right now, she wasn't his Slayer. Right now, she wasn't Buffy. And right now, he was certain, was the only chance he'd ever have to make his fondest fantasy come true.
Pushing open the door, Giles stepped back inside the restaurant. She was leaning back against one of the benches, smiling at him. There was a touch of mischief to the smile, seductive and innocent all at once. He moved closer to her, examining her much as she had done to him earlier.
The uniform was gone, replaced by a button-down shirt with the buttons undone just enough to offer him a tantalizing glimpse of the swell of her breasts. Her jeans were faded and tight, the knees fraying just slightly, showing a hint of skin through the white threads. "I didn't think you'd come."
"I…I simply wanted to make sure you were all right."
"That's all you wanted?" She asked, moving up to him. She touched him, trailing her fingers over his bare forearm. "You look nice with your sleeves all rolled up."
"You look…lovely."
She looped her arm though his and headed for the door. "So tell me, did you find your girl? The one you were looking for?"
He shook his head. "I'm afraid that she's not here."
"Are you sure?"
He looked down at her, and the impact of seeing Buffy shining out of the eyes of this woman he'd let himself think of as so different, hit him like a ton of bricks. "Buffy?"
She smiled, shaking her head. "Buffy. And not Buffy." She held out the arm that wasn't holding his. "Where are we going? It's getting late. We should be inside."
"You could take me…?"
"No. Take me to your hotel. We can talk there."
He nodded. "Of course. It's…it's just down the street." He led the way, holding tightly to her arm, not wanting to let her go for fear that she would run away again. The shock from her rapid change of attitude had yet to wear off, his mind and conscience coming into play, reading him the riot act for wanting something so absurd. "Is there anyone waiting for you? A roommate, perhaps?"
"I have to be back at the diner at 4. We have some time." She followed him into a decent, if slightly run-down motel. He unlocked the door to his room and allowed her to precede him in. "Nice. Well, nicer than my place. Which isn't hard. I give roach motels a bad name."
He didn't say anything, simply watching as she sat on the bed and leaned back against the headboard. Sitting at the desk, he took off his glasses and stared at her. "Why did you leave?"
"I had to."
"Why? Why with no warning? Why didn't you simply come to us for help? We would have helped you."
"I couldn't face any of you. I was so disappointed in myself. Everything was my fault because I let my heart overrule my head. And that's a good way for a Slayer to wind up dead. It almost cost all of you your lives. It did cost Kendra. I…" She shook her head. "I felt useless, Giles and I didn't know how to deal with it."
"You're not useless, Buffy. You've never been useless."
"I felt helpless and lost. Everything I had ever dreamed of had disappeared in one quick thrust of the sword. I was harboring fantasies of children and happily ever after. I was deluding myself from the truth and it cost people." She kicked off her shoes and pushed them off the side of the bed. "I let everyone down. I let you down. I failed."
"You saved the world."
"What good is the world when I can't save a friend?" She looked away, staring out the window at the darkness. "What kind of Slayer am I?"
He got up and moved to sit next to her. "You're my Slayer. You're the finest that ever lived. Buffy, you are an amazing girl, who does an amazing job. But you're not perfect. You can't save everyone."
"I can't save anyone Giles. Least of all myself."
He noted the tears sparkling in her eyes and pulled her into his arms. Holding her tightly against his chest, he rocked her. "Hush, Buffy. You…and perhaps all of us as well, expect too much of yourself. We judge you on unfair expectations."
She tilted her head up and looked at him. "You want to know something sick, Giles?"
"Always." He smiled at her, brushing the hair back from her face.
"I liked what happened this afternoon. For the first time since I left, I felt in control. I was able to do whatever I wanted and you couldn't do anything about it."
"Do you feel that helpless, Buffy? Does it hurt you so much to feel that you're not strong?"
"Strong is all I've ever been, Giles. It's part of who I am. But all I've been since Jenny died…even before Jenny died, is weak. Ruled by my heart and not caring who got hurt in the process."
He thought for a long moment then put her away from him. "Stand up."
She did as he asked immediately. Her blue eyes were tinged with hurt as she watched him stand as well, sure that he hadn't been listening to her. "Okay?"
"You are the most powerful woman in the world. Not just your fighting skills, but the strength of your heart and the force of your existence. The radiance of your beauty calls to people, making them need you, making them want to be with you." He looked away as he said the last few words, unsure of how much he should give away, afraid she might regret knowing anything at all "You make me want to be with you, despite all of my better judgement and learning. You make me want you, Buffy. And that's the strongest power any woman has."
"I make you…?"
He walked over to her, taking her hand and placing it against his erection once more. She gasped at the feel of it, so much more powerful than it had been when she'd shocked him earlier. "You've got the power, Buffy. Will you wield it?" His voice trembled slightly, giving her even more power over him. He bent his head so that his lips grazed her ear. "You make me weak. You own me, Buffy, heart and soul."
"Soul," she nodded, her own knees growing weak as his warm breath caressed her. Looking up and into his eyes, Buffy stared at him for a long time. "I know all about souls."
"What does mine tell you?"
"This," she whispered, pressing her lips lightly to his.
Giles growled low in his throat and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tightly to him. She copied his gesture, her hands snaking around his neck and up into his hair to hold his lips to hers. Moments later, breathless, they broke apart, both of them panting hard.
He held up one hand, watching as she marveled at its trembling. "This is what you do to me, Buffy."
"I…I make you." Strength came back to her voice, and she stood taller, her blue eyes growing defiant. "I make you…want me?"
"I want you, nonetheless. You make me need you." He turned his hand over so that it was palm up. "You make me weak with wanting you. You…"
"I can make you do whatever I want?" She cocked an eyebrow, and gave him a laviscious smile. "That's what you're telling me, isn't it?" She moved forward, her confidence returning to her with every step. She took the hand that he held out and brought the palm to her lips. "You want me to…to make you tremble?"
Giles took a deep breath. "I'd rather like it if we ended up both trembling."
She regarded him, drinking the information and the power in. She hadn't felt powerful in so long. Dropping his hand, she moved closer, her body almost touching his. She could see his muscles tremble and cord, wanting to touch her. She raised her hand and placed it on his tie. With her eyes locked on his, watching the emotion and tension flickering in the green depths, she tugged the knot loose before untying it.
Giles swallowed hard as she removed his tie, tossing it on the floor. She continued to gaze at him, her blue eyes strong. She wouldn't look away, needing to see her effect on him. Finished with the tie, this time her hands came up and touched the collar of his shirt, making their way to the first button. He swallowed again, reflexively and she smiled.
"Nervous?"
"A little," he admitted.
"Excited?"
"Quite a bit." It took all the last vestiges of his willpower not to prove the statement.
"Ready to be a little more naked?"
His eyes rolled back as she unhooked the first button, following it with the rest. She brushed the shirt away from him; her hands warm through the cotton of his undershirt. She tugged the shirt from his pants, careful not to touch anything other than the material, easing it over his arms and onto the floor with the tie.
She took a step back, her eyes roaming over him. She could see the dark mat of hair through the thin material and felt her body's urging. Heat that had begun to move through her suddenly felt as though it were pulsing through her blood, pounding through her veins, making its way to her stomach.
Hurriedly, she took the undershirt in her hands and pulled it from his slacks. She fumbled with it, feeling skin and shirt all together as she pushed it up his body, tugging it over his head. Giles fumbled with her, trying to remove the offending garment so that the slight whispers of her fingers against his chest could graduated into something much more intense.
In their haste, Buffy stumbled forward and they both fell to the ground with the shirt. Giles caught her in his hands, making sure that she didn't hit the floor. Buffy held onto him, her body pressed against his. Her breasts brushed his chest and she felt her nipples harden through the thinness of her shirt. Giles felt it as well, groaning and, unable to help himself, slipping a hand around her waist to hold her to him as he thrust upward, letting her feel the intensity of his need.
She shivered, moaning his name as she ground down against him. Grabbing his arms, she held them down at his side and sat up, heightening the sensations building between them. Tucking his hands under her knees, she caught the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head.
Giles gasped as she revealed her skin to him, even though she was showing nothing he hadn't seen before when she'd tormented him in her skimpy workout outfits. But something in her gaze, the need and the desire that he knew was for him, made the sight of it that much more arousing.
"Giles?"
"Yes, Buffy?" He breathed.
She reached back and unfastened her bra, holding it to her with her arms. "I've never said the words, but you know that I love you, right? You know that, right?"
He nodded, breathless. The words, no matter how she might mean them, went straight to his heart. "You mean the world to me, Buffy. And hearing that, from you, makes everything…every torture worth it." He watched her eyes, needing to see how she would react to the thought of Angelus. A dark shadow entered her eyes, darkening the sparkle of desire, but not obliterating it completely.
"I should have saved you…"
"Save me now." He pulled his hands from under her knees and very carefully undid the tape the held his fingers together. That done, he touched the silky straps of her bra, tugging on them lightly. She loosened her hold on it, letting him pull it away from her skin.
Letting her hands fall to the side, Buffy watched his face as he stared at her, his eyes widening in a mixture of wonder and excitement. "Giles…?"
"You're more beautiful than I ever imagined," he whispered, his hands stroking the golden skin. His thumbs swept along the swell of her breast that she'd teased him with earlier, making their way down to the hardened tips, standing out in high relief.
Buffy arched her back, thrusting her chest out further, allowing him to cup her entire breast in his hand. He held it for a moment, marveling at the delicious weight of it. Raising up, he supported himself with one arm as he replaced his hand with his mouth, hot and seeking.
"Oh God," she moaned, holding the back of his head as he devoured her. His teeth captured the nipple, grinding lightly together, distending the flesh even further. His mouth was like an inferno, heating her whole body from the simply contact.
Involuntarily, her body pressed down on his, rubbing against him, trying to relieve the building pressure. Giles wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tightly to him, his mouth never leaving her. Buffy wriggled, writhing hard, rubbing desperately, trying to find the perfect spot. Finally doing so, she stroked him with her hot body, her damp jeans slipping along his slacks until she shuddered in his arms, her first orgasm hitting her.
Placing a soft kiss on the tip of her breast, Giles pulled his head away and caught her eye. Buffy was breathing hard, licking her lips and smiling all the while. "Wow."
"Wow?" He asked, unable to keep from smiling back at her.
She nodded. "Yeah." Reaching out, she stroked his cheek. "Giles, I…"
"Please, call me Rupert?" He caught her hand with his own, turning his head so that he could kiss her palm. "I would have to say this has been the equivalent of a formal introduction."
"What comes after the introduction, G…I mean, Rupert?"
Her lips caressed his name, whispering it almost reverently. "Well, love, for starters, you're going to have to get off of me."
"I…I am?" Sorrow filled her eyes as she started to move away. Giles caught her arms and held her still.
"Buffy." His voice was deep, forcing her to look at him. "If you don't move, I'm going to have much too difficult a time easing you out of the rest of your clothes and making very sweet love to you."
"Oh."
"For a very long time."
| The Master List | Buffy the Vampire Slayer |