"…listen to the rhythm of the falling rain…"

Xander and Willow sang together as they rode home in Buffy's mom's car. Joyce glanced at Buffy quickly before smiling at her daughter's best friends in the back seat. Willow, noticing the attention, blushed and giggled.

"Sorry, Ms. Summers. When we were kids, it never seemed to rain here. And so, whenever Xander and I wanted to play in the mud, we'd sing that song." She glanced nervously at him. Ever since their discovery in the factory, they'd tried very hard not to remind each other of their life before fluking. He smiled at her, so she continued. "It never really worked. But sometimes, if we sang loud enough when my father was home, he'd climb onto the roof and sprinkle us with the garden hose."

"Your father sounds very nice. I don't think I've met him." Joyce immediately regretted her words. They reminded her too much of the meeting she'd recently had with Willow's mother. The witch hunt. Not a good memory.

"He's out of town a lot. Mom is too, but I've always had Xander to keep me company." Staring wide-eyed at Buffy's reflection in the visor mirror, she tried to recover. "And now I have Buffy instead. I mean too."

Xander sighed. Things had been going so well too. When they'd started singing together, he'd cast a vain hope that things would start reverting back to normal. Although, he had to admit, he was the one keeping the problem alive. Willow had moved on. Worked things out with Oz and was back to the whole couple thing. He was still worried that everyone thought they were fooling around.

Mostly because he wished they still were.

Not the whole cheating on their respective others, but the kissing and the holding and the shy, furtive glances. He wanted to be able to flirt with her again. He wanted to be able to casually throw his arm around his bestest bud in the world.

And he wanted to kiss her so hard her knees would give way.

"Well, here we are." Joyce pulled to a stop outside Willow's house. "Are you staying Buffy?"

"Nope. I've got a report to write before slayage, so I can't have these two hooligans distracting me. So home I go."

"I'll just get out here, Ms. Summers."

"Xander, I can't leave you here in the rain."

He smiled as a ray of sun broke through the clouds. "Rain doesn't last too long here in Sunnydale. Hence the name. I'll be fine. Besides, it's kind of out of the way." He jumped out of the car. "Thanks for the ride."

Willow echoed his sentiments as she climbed out. They waved as the vehicle drove away before heading in opposite directions. "Bye Xander."

"Bye." He hunched his shoulders against the few remaining drops. She stopped at her door to watch him, her heart sad. She was about to go inside when a flash of lightning lit up the sky and a roll of thunder seemed to crash down right on top of them.

At her shriek of surprise, he turned around. Worry that some sort of creature had grabbed her started him running before he had even processed a thought. He reached her porch, soaked by the sudden deluge of rain that had begun to fall as he ran.

"Are you okay?" He grabbed her shoulders, trying to ignore the thrill that went through him. God, he missed touching her.

She stepped back, overwhelmed by the contact. "I'm fine." Glancing over his shoulder at the torrential downpour, she held the door open for him. "You can't go home in that. Come in."

He stood in the doorway, conscious of the rain dripping off of him. "I don't suppose you have anything I can change into?"

"Dad might have some sweats or something. Come on."

He followed her, trying to remain completely business like. He'd been here thousands of times. He'd been her friend forever. A couple of minor indiscretions would not destroy all of that.

"Willow?" Sheila Rosenberg stepped out of the living room. "Oh, hello Xander. I'm having a meeting in here, so could you two stay upstairs?"

Willow wondered if Xander had heard her swallow. It seemed to echo in her ears. "Sure Mom. Xander's going to borrow some of Dad's clothes."

"All right." She closed the door to the room.

Willow motioned to the laundry room. "Look in there. I'll get us some snacks." She ducked into the kitchen. Her heart was beating a mile a minute. How was she supposed to be alone with * him* in her *bedroom *? She gathered some of Xander's favorite foods, sodas from the fridge and headed for the stairs. She paused outside the door to the laundry room, hearing his voice.

"Okay, look. I've been trying to be good."

Who was he talking to? She moved closer to the door. Realizing it was ajar, she couldn't help but look through the sliver of space.

Xander slid his shirt off and dropped it in the dryer. "You know that I have. I haven't voiced any of my thoughts. I've kept my hands to myself."

Willow's breath caught in her throat. His skin was a golden hue, accented by the dark hairs on his arms and his chest. He was beautiful.

"And it wasn't…isn't easy." He undid his belt buckle and his fly. Kicking off his soaked tennis shoes, he slid his jeans down his legs.

She remembered the Speedo incident clearly. She'd lived off that particular fantasy for months. But this was different. In the swimsuit, he'd been guarded. Now, like this, he was completely at ease. Completely relaxed.

He patted his boxers, weighing the options. They were damp and liable to be uncomfortable. Shrugging, he slipped them off as well, letting them join his pants, shirt and socks in the dryer.

Willow stopped breathing all together. His whole body was firm. Despite all of the junk food he managed to consume, his body was toned and hard. As he bent over, she let her eyes lovingly caress the supple flesh of his buttocks. When he stood after removing his boxers, he turned sideways so she had a perfect shot of his profile.

She tried to tear her eyes away. She honestly did not want to see him completely nude and unselfconscious in front of her. Because she knew that it was an image she would never be able to get out of her mind. And no matter how hard they tried, no other man in her life was going to measure up to him.

He grabbed the pair of sweats off the washing machine and slipped them on. Pulling the T-shirt over his head next, he never noticed Willow leaving the doorway and sneaking up to her room.

She was sitting by the window, staring out at the rain when he knocked on the open door. She had dumped a variety of snack foods on her desk, so he casually picked up a Twinkie. "Want a bite?"

She clenched her hands together, refusing to look at him. "No. No thanks."

He sat in her chair and unwrapped the golden foam. "Are you sure? I hear they're great for your health."

She smiled, which was all he wanted. "I put my life at risk enough without eating those. I swear Xander. Sometimes I don't know how you stay so…" she paused, catching herself. She was about to say sexy. Can't say sexy. "…Fit."

"All that Slayerette-ing." He spun around in the chair. "So, what do we do to wait out the storm?"

"I don't know. What did we use to do?"

"Play in it."

She laughed. "That's right." She looked at him, her heart aching. She longed to run her hand through his tousled, wet hair. "When we didn't mind getting pneumonia."

"I never mind it. It's an excuse to be out of school. You, however, use to whine and moan whenever you felt a sniffle coming on. Please, don't make me miss school. Please, Mommy?"

She threw a stuffed animal at him. "I've just remembered the hazard of hanging around with someone you've known all your life."

He got off the chair and sat on the floor near her. "Oh? What's that?"

His voice seemed deeper the closer she got to him. This was * such* a bad idea. "They remember all the things you want to forget."

"What do you want to forget, Willow?"

She swallowed hard again. "I…"

He moved closer, stroking her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into the gentle stroking. "I've tried, Wills, I really have. I've tried to let you go. But I can't. I can't pretend anymore."

The touch of her skin was like a drug. "Xander…."

He brought her face to his and softly kissed her closed eyelids. "If you want me to stop, you're going to have to tell me right now. Because once I kiss you, I'm not leaving. Not ever."

She pulled away from his touch and walked to the bedroom door. Her heart was pounding so loudly, she was sure he could hear. His own heart sank. Oh God, he'd messed up again. And this time, he was sure the damage would be permanent.

"Xander?" She held onto the door for support. "On Christmas Eve, I asked Oz to be my…my first."

He shook his head sadly. He was too late.

"He said no." She looked down at the floor. "And I was disappointed at first, because I really thought that was what I wanted. What I needed."

"I'm guessing you want me to go then?" He was so proud of himself. He didn't sound like his heart was broken and all he wanted to do was submerge himself in a hell of country music.

"But after the disappointment, I was relieved. Because, although I was asking the right question, I was asking the wrong person."

His mind processed her statement slowly as she closed the bedroom door. "Are you…?"

"I want you to be my first, Alexander Harris. Just like you should be." She smiled at him, a soft blush lighting up her face. "Just like I've always wanted you to be."

He was on his feet in an instant, crushing her in a heartfelt hug. He stood there for long minutes, simply holding her beloved form to him. "I love you Willow."

She pulled away, surprised by his admission. His grin was lopsided. "You what?"

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to hers. Softly, with almost no pressure, just to initiate the contact. She stood still against him, letting her lips mold to his. He pulled back a fraction of an inch before repeating the gesture. It wasn't even a kiss really, more like stroking her lips with his.

The third time, she was ready. With her own lips, she captured his lower one and sucked on it lightly. It was all the invitation he needed.

He picked her up and carried her to the bed. She wrapped her legs around his waist, forcing him to sit with her on his lap. Her arms were wound around his neck, stroking the soft tendrils of hair. He kept one arm around her waist and buried one in her fiery tresses. Tightening his hold on her hair, he pulled her head back to expose the smooth flesh of her neck. "I think I begin to see what Angelus found so exciting about your neck."

She couldn't reply. The feel of his lips moving against her skin was too much to require any coherent thought. She reveled in his touch. In all their trysts before, they'd limited themselves to the most innocent of touching - hand holding, footsies and kissing.

He nipped the skin with his teeth before sliding the tip of his tongue over the sensitive flesh. She moaned and wriggled against him.

Xander gasped against her skin. Her soft movement had pressed her heated sex right next to his erect penis. "Oh, Willow." He slid his hands to the front of her shirt and slowly unbuttoned it. He gave her a soft kiss with each one as it came undone.

"Xander…" She shrugged her shoulders and let the material fall to the floor. He stared down at her creamy flesh highlighted by a silky, ivory bra. "Please?"

He stood, still holding her and turned around. Laying her back on the bed, he settled in beside her. A shaky hand made its way to her right breast. He traced the outline of her lingerie with his finger, feeling the goosebumps rise on her skin. Listening to her breathe shallowly, he looked up into her eyes.

They were staring back at him, love and longing mixed in their clear green depths. Still maintaining eye contact, he trailed his fingers over the material, brushing against the hard nipple.

Her back arched toward his touch and her eyes closed. He pulled his hands away and took off his shirt. "Willow? I'm going to undress you now, because I have to feel you against me. Gods, Will, if you want me to stop say so."

She reached down to the valley between her breasts and undid the hook for her bra. Pulling the two halves of the material apart, she wriggled her arms out of it and tossed it aside. He couldn't help but stare. She was like perfection. Her skin flushed with excitement, her breasts heaving with her strained breath, her nipples hard.

He put a tender hand on her shoulder and pushed her back down onto the bed. Pushing her legs apart with his knee, he settled his hips between hers and pressed his warm skin against hers.

"Oh!" She wrapped her arms around him, swaying slightly form side to side so that her nipples rubbed against his. Every time the hard nubs met his, she wanted to scream.

He held her tightly for a moment before releasing her. "Trust me?"

She licked her lips and smiled. "Yes."

He bent his head and took the hard flesh into his mouth. She stifled her moan as he sucked her into his mouth. His tongue played with her, inciting a riot of emotions. Her body felt like it was on fire emanating from the soft warmth of his mouth. He began stroking her other breast, pinching lightly at the tight flesh there.

He looked up through his lashes. There was such a look of satisfaction on her face, he couldn't help but smile. Kissing his way down to the valley between the soft orbs of flesh, he left a cool trail with his tongue. His soft warm breath forced a chill every time it came in contact with it. Lavishing the same attention on her other breast, Xander decided he'd died and gone to heaven. Surely nothing anywhere else could taste so sweet?

He bit her nipple lightly and her body arched up again. Her soft stroking as she raised her hips caressed his cock through the sweats. The thin material did absolutely nothing to protect him against the arousal she was causing or against her realizing how desperately he wanted her.

She trailed her fingers softly down his back, aching deep in the pit of her stomach. Drawing the hands casually around his stomach, careful not to tickle, she reached down for his waistband. "I have a confession to make, Xander."

He stilled her hands and got off the bed. Slipping the sweats to his feet, he stepped out of them. He leaned over her and slid gentle hands up under her skirt. The warmth of his palm against her thigh caused her to jump, but he continued up to her waistband. "What's that?" He removed the material.

"I watched you." She gazed over at his glorious body and couldn't manage to look away. "I watched you downstairs."

He slid his hands up her thighs again, not stopping until he touched the wetness of her panties. "Did you like what you saw, Willow?"

"Can't you tell?" She whimpered as he slipped a solitary finger beneath the satin. He touched her clit briefly before pulling away. She moaned and bit her lower lip. "Please Xander? I wanted you for so long."

He put his hands on her hips and pulled the scrap of satin off of her. He tossed the fabric aside before sliding his palms against the smooth skin of her legs. Kneeling before her, he placed a soft kiss on the tumble of red curls between her legs. "How long?"

His whispered question took her by surprise. "Since forever." She sighed shakily. "Please Xander? Be my first?"

"Can I be your only?" He kissed her just a little lower. She thrust toward him, wanting him to touch her.

"You can be anything you want, just please…"

His tongue stroked her clitoris and her words died away in a gasp of air. The first taste of her was overwhelming. He knew he could never tire of it. He ran his tongue down along the heated flesh of her sex, pausing when she would gasp. When her muscles would relax enough he'd repeat the gesture until her entire body was taut with longing.

He made his way back to her clit, circling it with his tongue as he slid a single finger between her nether lips. She groaned and wriggled closer to him.

"Willow? Do you want me?" His brown eyes were almost black with wanting her. But he needed to hear her. He needed to hear her say his name. "Do you, Wills?"

"Xander," she panted. "It's always been you. Please?"

He pulled away yet again and repositioned himself. Her body was glowing with perspiration, muscles tight with desire, eyes wild with lust. He wanted her to drive her over the edge so that he was the only thing on her mind. He wanted her thoughts to be as consumed with him as his were with her.

"I've never done this before, you know."

Her eyes struggled to refocus. "You haven't? But I thought you and Cordelia…"

He shook his head with a smile. "Nope. I was waiting for it to be special. I guess that means I was waiting for it to be you." Taking his cock lightly in his hands, he rubbed the sensitive tip against her hard clit. Her body jolted from the contact. Sliding it along her wetness, he made sure it was covered with her juices before gently placing it in her tight opening.

"Gently?" she whispered.

He couldn't speak. The warmth of her body seemed to be coursing through his flesh. He thrust in slowly, an inch at a time until he felt the pressure of her maidenhead. Gathering his resolve, he smiled at her. "I don't want to hurt you." He leaned down to kiss the softness of her breast. She purred and arced her body towards him as he carefully pushed farther into her.

They both inhaled sharply as a wave of pain hit her. Tears came to her eyes and he quickly kissed them away. "Ssh, Wills. I'm not gonna hurt you ever again." He lay still for a moment, embedded inside her. "Whenever you're ready."

He rained kisses on her face and neck, whispering words of endearment and passion. He sucked lightly on her earlobe and her body responded with a gentle thrust. "I'm ready Xander," she whispered.

He began slowly, letting her body get used to the feel of him, get used to the rhythm. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the rain outside the window. The cocoon of unreality it created added to the intimacy of the moment.

Willow stared at the man above her, her heart in her eyes. She'd come so close to making a mistake and letting someone else have this moment with her. His eyes opened and she knew he could tell what she was thinking. "No, Wills. Just the two of us."

She nodded and wrapped her legs around his knees. He shuddered and picked up his momentum. Her vagina was tight against his penis, but the smooth wetness welcomed his every stroke. He could feel the hard clit as he rubbed against her, his pace increasing as he could feel the pressure building.

His breathing grew short and hard, as did hers. He gazed down at the girl he loved, pleased as she matched him stroke for stroke. Her eyes glistened with happiness and a soft, satisfied smile curved her lips. "Xander?" She managed to whisper.

"Yeah." He groaned.

"You feel so good in me."

His will shattered and his body was wracked with orgasm. He tightened the muscles in his arms to support himself as he continued to thrust until he felt her body begin to shake. Her breath came in short "ohs" of pleasure until her eyes closed and the wave of her explosion buffeted him.

He collapsed on top of her; their sweat dampened flesh slippery. She made a small noise and he raised himself up a bit. "Should I move?"

"No. Not unless you need to?"

"No."

She snuggled contentedly against him, relishing the full body contact. He nestled his head in the hollow of her shoulder and lay there trying to get his breathing back to normal. Her hand stroked his hair absently, tangling in the curls. He closed his eyes, wondering at the soft tune she was humming.

When it came to him, he chuckled against her flushed skin and joined in the singing.

"…listen to the rhythm of the falling rain, telling me just what a fool I've been…"