She liked to daydream. She would sit on the swing in the park next to her house and fly higher and higher and higher, scissoring her legs, ready to touch the clouds. She learned later that she could never touch the clouds, but until she knew that, she tried so hard. She wanted wings.

Her honey-brown hair would stream out behind her as she went up down, and finally her mommy would call her down, say that they were going home. So she would drag her feet in the sand to slow herself down the tiniest bit, and then leap off as the swing shot forward again. A long way she would fly, stretching her arms out, a sparkle in her young eyes. And then she would land, and things would be the same as they were before the flying, before the swing.

She would always take her mommy's hand, because she loved her mommy, and they would walk home together, to their big home down the street, with lots of rooms and a pool she had learned to swim in years ago, when she could barely talk.

Her mommy would dust the sand out of her clothes before dinner, and would brush the leaves and dirt out of her hair as she sat on the floor, in her mommy's lap. The brush always felt so good, and she would tell her mommy that. Her mommy would always reply with the same answer.

"It's probably the one thing about me that you'll remember when you grow up, Buffy. So I try to make it a good memory," she would say. And Buffy would nod happily, the brush ever stroking her hair, and whisper back.

"It's already a good memory, Mommy," she would tell her. And her mommy's breath would catch and Buffy would feel really warm inside, like tiny fuzzy things had made a home in her heart. She liked her mommy.

And then they would go and eat dinner, and her daddy would be there. He was a tall man and when she would look up and him, he would have to lean down to meet her shining eyes and he would ruffle her hair and call her "Pumpkin." She loved him, too. And her mommy would smile at her daddy and lean over to kiss him. Buffy loved it when her parents were as happy as she was all the time. But every now and then, just sometimes, she would sit in her room at bedtime, and listen to the screams.

The screams didn't come very often, then. But when they did come, she would cry and wish that they would never ever come again. They scared her and made her feel unsafe in her own room. Her mommy's voice would rise and Buffy would be able to hear tears in her words, and her daddy would be shouting about things Buffy didn't understand. She hated the screams that she heard beyond her walls.

And one night, Buffy's mommy stole into her room after the screams, and woke Buffy up, touching the little, tearstained face with regret. Buffy looked up blearily, to see her mommy crying and she reached out to be enveloped in a hug that was as sad as it was warm.

Her mommy put her finger to her lips and shushed her and Buffy nodded, scared and curious as her mommy began to skitter around the room, putting some of Buffy's clothes into a small black bag. When she was done, her mommy took Buffy's hand and led her quietly down the stairs to the car. Buffy was silent, too afraid to talk, too afraid to ask any of the questions about her daddy that were flying through her head.

They drove forever, and finally Buffy's nervous alertness faded and she fell asleep, curled up into a little ball, a blanket tucked neatly around her. She sucked her thumb in her sleep, something she had not done in years, but then she had never left her house in the middle of the night, so a part of her brain whispered that it was okay.

When she woke up, it was daytime and she looked around the hotel room that her mommy had carried her into. Her mommy lay next to her, her eyes wide open, but her face still and Buffy was scared again for a moment before her mommy looked at her and gave her a shaky smile.

The question flew out of Buffy's mouth. "What are we doing here, Mommy?"

And her mommy shushed her and kissed her hair and Buffy felt almost safe again, not noticing that her mommy had refused to answer the question. Lifting Buffy up, her mommy quickly laid out some clothes for Buffy and Buffy got into them, thinking of another way she could find out what she was wondering.

Buffy paused, trying another tack, "*Where* are we, Mommy?"

Her mommy sighed and shook her head. "A town called Sunnydale."

Buffy's eyes lit-- she liked the name, it sounded friendly-- and she smiled. "How long are we going to stay here for?"

Her mommy shook her head and sighed again, a deeper, sadder sound than before. "I don't know, Baby. Mommy can't tell you that for sure."

Buffy's smile dropped and her mommy, noticing this, smiled brightly to cheer up her daughter. "But there's a nice park just a block away. I thought you might like to go there with me, ride on the swings?"

Buffy slowly nodded, her eyes large and serious and they left the little room and began walking. Soon they were there, and Buffy saw that her mommy was right, it was a very nice playground. It had swings and a slide and a big sand box and a merry go round. It even had a teeter totter, but Buffy barely glanced at that because she had no one to play with.

Letting go of her mommy's hand, she ran over to the swings, and leapt on them with the ferocity of a baby tiger. Her mommy watched her, sitting on a nearby bench, and finally pulling out a book to read while Buffy played. Buffy began kicking her legs to go higher and higher and higher, but something caught her eye and she stopped.

A little girl and a little boy had entered the park, holding hands. The little girl had hair as red as Buffy had ever seen, and the little boy's face was smudged with dirt, his dark hair falling over his eyes. Buffy smiled at this: Maybe one of them would push her on the swings or, better yet, play on the teeter totter with her.

Hopping off the swing neatly, she walked over to them. They boy gave her a big smile, but the girl looked at her a little cautiously, only smiling when Buffy did. The little boy stuck out a sticky hand, the way Buffy's daddy did when meeting a new grownup and Buffy was delighted with the turn of events. She claimed the sticky hand in her own, and shook it firmly.

The boy grinned. "I'm Xander. This is my friend Willow," he introduced, nodding his head toward the girl. She nodded shyly and Buffy leaned over to hug her, like she had seen her mommy do with her friends. And Buffy so wanted to be friends.

"Would you... Would you like to play with us?" Willow asked, almost whispering. Buffy nodded eagerly and they ran off to the swings, Xander taking turns pushing the girls.

Buffy decided they were both her new best friends, if she and her mommy were going to be there for a long time. Xander was really funny-- he told stories about an "evil" girl named Cordelia-- and Willow was really smart. They were both nice to her, and Buffy liked the way their eyes twinkled.

Buffy noticed another boy, a little older than them, with dark red hair sitting in the sand box a little ways away, and she waved to him. He just smiled and didn't wave back, but that was okay with Buffy. She figured that if they were there long enough, he would eventually come over and talk to them. Some people were shy.

As she flew higher into the air, she had daydreamed. She thought of being a grownup and still being friends with Willow and Xander, because they were so nice, and she thought of her husband and her life as a grownup. Her daddy had blue eyes, and she always liked blue but she couldn't stop imagining dark eyes, sad eyes that were warm, and a warm hug and warm kisses and happily ever after, never with any screaming.

These thoughts made her sad, and she leapt from the swing, mid-flight, executing a neat somersault in the air. When she turned around, both Willow and Xander were looking at her with big eyes and she smiled and shrugged. She had been able to do that since she learned out to swing. All of the kids at the old playground were used to seeing her fly and land without getting hurt.

Xander finally broke the silence. "Are you... I mean do you.." he trailed off, uncertain.

Willow took over for him, her voice small but friendly, her eyes warm. "Do you take gymnastics?"

Buffy shook her head, her hair tumbling in her face. "No, I just can do stuff like that sometimes," she explained. "Want me to push you guys on the merry go round?"

They nodded eagerly and piled on. Buffy steadied herself and then began pushing, spinning around faster and faster until Xander was laughing and Willow was shrieking happily before she hopped on. It seemed like the ride went forever, but it didn't, and all too soon were they slowing and stopping.

Her mommy called her over and Buffy gave her new friends a smile before obediently trotting over to see her. "Mommy?"

Her mommy's face was firm, but sad. She gathered Buffy into her lap. "Honey, we're going home. I was thinking about it, and I was wrong to take you away like that. Your daddy is probably missing you and scared and... I miss him too." Her mommy gulped and Buffy had to blink back sudden tears at seeing her mommy so sad. "So, why don't you go tell your new friends goodbye, and we'll go back home and see your daddy?" her mommy finished.

Buffy nodded, not wanting to leave her friends, but wanting to see her daddy very much. She jumped off her mommy's lap and walked over to Xander and Willow, sighing.

"My mommy and me are leaving," she told them sadly. "So I have to say goodbye now."

Xander looked sort of mad at Buffy's mommy, and Willow looked stricken. She reached out and touched Buffy's hand lightly. "Do you have to?" she whispered. Buffy nodded, a tear escaping and spilling down her cheek. She swiped at it angrily. She hated it when she cried in front of other people.

Xander's mouth was stretched into a white line and Buffy was worried what he was going to say. But instead of saying anything, he swooped forward and hugged her really hard for a long time. Willow joined in the hug after a minute, and Buffy wondered why she felt so, so sad at leaving these kids who she had known for less than a day. She hugged them back though, and finally turned away to see her mommy and the other boy watching them with interest. Whispering goodbye to Xander and Willow, she walked back to her mommy and her mommy lifted her into her arms and held her extra tight as she carried her back to the hotel room.

Her mommy quickly packed their things and called Buffy's daddy, telling him that she was sorry and that they were coming home. Buffy walked to the car with a sort of numb feeling and crawled into the front seat. She fell asleep quickly.

When she woke up, she was back at home and in her own bed and the light of the day was dimming. She looked around, wondering if it had all been a dream, wondering if there were actually two people in the world that she could like so much that liked her back.

The screams didn't come that night, and Buffy was grateful. Slowly putting it out of her mind, everyday she visited her own playground as the years passed. Sometimes her heartbeat would speed up with a memory long forgotten and she would sit on the swings, almost melancholy for something that she missed and ached for.

But at least the playground stayed the same.