"Willow?" The word was nothing more than a breath, hot against her neck.

"Xander, please don't." She closed her eyes, letting her body relax against him. "You said we could talk."

He pulled back, nodding. "All right. Let's go talk."

Willow waited until he sat down on the couch to sit across from him. Just being close to him was very rapidly becoming too much for her to handle. And every touch seemed to send shockwaves through her body, directly to her groin.

But then, Xander had always been able to make her want him.

"This isn't going to be about Buffy again, is it?" Xander's brown eyes were troubled. "I don't know what else I can say to make you see that I don't want her or love her, other than as a friend."

"It's not about Buffy. It's about us, Xander. You…I want you, so badly. I always have. I imagine I always will. But wanting isn't loving. And wanting isn't enough to build a relationship on."

"I don't just want you, Willow."

"But I don't know that I don't just want you." She sighed, burying her head in her hands. "Right now, you're so insistent, so good with Connor, so…you seem so perfect. So near. So…easy. But easy isn't necessarily right. And this time, I have to do the right thing."

"Because of Connor."

"And because of me." She sighed. "It hurt so much to leave Sunnydale and you behind. When Oz and I split up, the pain was like a living thing." Tears glistened in her eyes. "If I try and lose you…again. It's going to cost me my heart and my soul. That's a lot to put on the line, Xander."

"Especially with my track record?" His voice was soft. "Let me prove my self to you, Wills? I can't show you that I've changed if you won't even give me a chance." She was about to answer, when the front door opened and Willow's parents walked in. "Hey, Mr. and Mrs. R."

"Hello Xander." Mr. Rosenberg smiled at the younger man. "Here to romance my daughter?"

"She won't let me."

"She's stubborn," Ira smiled at Willow. "But I think if anyone can wear down her defenses, it's you." He walked over and placed a kiss on the top of Willow's head. "We'll watch the little terror. You two go out and have fun."

"Are you sure?" Her green eyes searched his face.

"Go."

Xander laughed. "Uh-oh Will, he's got his resolve face on. We'd better hit the road." He guided her to the front door and grabbed both their coats. "Night."

"Have her home before the sun comes up," Ira called over his shoulder.

"I'll do what I can," Xander responded.

Grabbing her coat out of his hand, Willow slapped Xander with her other hand. "He doesn't need the encouragement, you know."

He took the coat back from her, ignoring the slap. Helping her into it, he hooked the zipper and pulled it up to her chin. Time froze as they stared at each other in silence. "I'm going to kiss you, Willow," he whispered as he lightly touched his lips to her nose. Her body seemed to jerk toward his and she tilted her head slightly.

Struggling to breathe, Xander accepted her invitation, meeting her upturned lips with his own. It was warm and soft and innocent and over far too quickly for Xander's tastes. But he broke away, scared that he might frighten her. Willow's green eyes seemed huge as she stared up at him. "Where should we go?"

He swallowed. "The Bronze?"

"Your place?"

His voice found a new octave. "Okay."

Willow gazed around the apartment, laughing in delight at the sheer Xander-ness of it. "It's so you." Magazines and clothes lined the floor, the kitchen looked brand new, and posters of various scantily clad, Asian actresses lined the walls. One in particular caught her eye. "Amy Yip at the Water Park?"

"How was I to know she was going to make a movie just for me?" He flushed a deep red and took off his coat. "Can I take your coat?"

She nodded and slipped out of it, handing it to him. Walking around the room, she ignored most of the things she saw, her mind more occupied with the fact that she was alone, with Xander, in his apartment. "It's a nice place."

"It's filthy. I'm not home much anymore. I spend most of my time at work, the library or your house. It's a lot like high school."

"Well, the first couple of years." She moved some magazines off the couch and sat down. "So, should we talk?"

He nodded and sat down across from her in the easy chair. "You set the rules, Will."

"You have to tell the truth."

"We both do."

She nodded. "All right."

"Do you love Oz?"

"Yes."

"Are you in love with him still?"

She sat still for a moment, staring down at her wedding ring. Taking it firmly between her fingers, she removed it and set it on the coffee table. Her green eyes met his. "No." She paused, taking a deep breath. "Do you love Buffy?"

"No."

"Do you love…are you in love with anyone?"

"You."

He said it so quickly; she couldn't help but look up in surprise. "Have you brought any other women here?"

Blushing furiously, he shook his head. "Wills…I haven't been…I haven't…not since Faith."

She fell back against the couch in shock. "What?"

"I saw how much Faith hurt you…and I couldn't do that to you again. And once you left, I didn't want to find anyone else. Buffy's been the only other relationship I've had since you left me."

Silence filled the room as Willow processed his words. "I had no idea."

"Has there been anyone other than Oz?" His voice was quiet, as though he wasn't quite sure he wanted to know the answer.

"No. And there hasn't been anyone since…for about four years." She blushed. "What a pair we make, hmmm?"

"Maybe it's fate trying to tell us something."

"I don't want to love you again, Xander." She shook her head adamantly. "You're too quick to fall in love and it's too easy for you to walk away. With Connor…I can't risk it."

"I would never walk away from you, Willow."

She stood up and started pacing. "You have though, time and time again. I have to put him first, before what I might want, before what we might want. I have to take him into consideration."

"Answer me this, Willow. Do you plan to leave Sunnydale?" She shook her head and he sighed in relief. "So, I'm going to be around all the time, aren't I? So why does it matter right now if we do what we want?"

"Because I won't be able to walk away!" The tears came again and she cursed them under her breath. "I can't love you again and let you break my heart. I can't. I lost the man I thought loved me more than life itself when Oz walked away. And I had already given up the man I…" She stopped.

Xander looked up at her sharply, his dark eyes curious. "The man you…what?"

"It's never been a secret that I love you, Xander. I've loved you all my life, and that's never going to change. But I can't trust you with my heart." She sat down, sinking into the chair as if she couldn't support herself any longer. "This isn't going to solve anything."

"Marry me."

"What?" She snapped angrily.

"If that's the only way I can prove to you that I love you and won't leave you, marry me."

"You're being ridiculous now." She stood, grabbing her coat. As she pulled it toward her, her wedding ring went flying across the room, skittering under the stove. "Damn it."

"I've waited for you for five years, Willow. Willingly. Knowingly. I know it's not the thirteen years you spent waiting for me, but it's something. I love that little boy. He's great. When I tucked him in tonight, I felt so complete…" Xander stood and went to her side. "I've hurt you in the past. I know that. I know that I didn't see you until it was too late for us. It was too late then, Willow. It doesn't make it too late now."

"I can't risk it."

"You can't not risk it." He grabbed her arms and turned her to face him. "Life is too short, Wills. And love is too precious. I've waited for you, even knowing that you might not come back, because there was no one else. If I can't have you, there's no one." His eyes pleaded with her to understand.

"I want to trust you."

"Trust me."

"I want to. But I think of all the times…"

"Willow, think about the future, not the past. Let it go?"

"I want to." She nodded. "But I'm so scared, Xander."

He pulled her to him, holding her tightly. "I know Wills, but didn't I always protect you in the long run? Wasn't I always there for you when you needed me most? And could you please not answer those questions?"

They both laughed, Xander pulling Willow back so that he could stare into her eyes. "I'm not asking for everything, Wills. Just a chance."

"A chance?" She looked skeptical, despite the wide grin. "That's all?"

"A chance." He nodded, then bent and swept her up into his arms. Carrying her toward the bedroom, he was pleased to note she wasn't protesting. "Well, and maybe one other thing."

Willow propped herself up on one elbow and stared down at Xander's sleeping form. His face was so relaxed, so innocent in sleep. Her heart was full, looking down at the man she loved. This was what she had waited for. This was what everything in the romance novels had talked about - fireworks, symphonies and soul mates.

She thought of Connor briefly and touched her stomach, a wave of sadness sweeping over her. At least pregnancy wasn't an issue. She turned her thoughts back to the man beside her and smiled.

"I love you Xander. And I hope we didn't just make the biggest mistake of our lives."