Chad Price wasn't the sort of guy to pry. But the behavior of his roommate Xander was tempting him to give up his policy and beg for info. Ever since Xander had returned from a camping trip with some old friends five weeks ago, he seemed like a different person. A person who had experienced a life-altering moment and wasn't sure what to do about it. He suspected it had something to do with Xander's friend Willow. Chad noticed how her picture had taken the spot of prominence on Xander's dresser immediately following the trip. And he was surprised to see another picture appear on his nightstand a few weeks later of both Xander and Willow, curled into an embrace and sleeping peacefully on the ground somewhere. Whatever had turned Xander into a home-body zombie definitely had something to do with Willow and that camping trip.

Chad sighed as he thought about the impending conversation he would have to have with his roomie. Chad and Xander weren't especially close, although they got along really well. They helped each other through exams, commiserated about women together, and generally had a good time whenever possible. The serious conversations were few and far between. So Chad felt uncomfortable knowing that he would have to approach Xander soon and force him to spill his guts to find out what was wrong.

Chad moved to his bookshelf in their small apartment and removed his one of his textbooks. He was planning on studying until Xander came back from class. Then it was Talk Time. He settled into their couch and flipped the book open to the page he wanted. Then he jumped slightly as the phone rang, and reached for it before it could ring a second time. "Hello, Chad and Xander's Den of Debauchery. What's your pleasure?"

"Uh, Xander?" A female voice asked uncertainly.

Chad sat up, slightly embarrassed. "No, this is Chad. Xander's still in class. Can I take a message for him?"

"Sure. Could you tell him that Cordelia called, and that he needs to call me as soon as he gets in. It's about Willow."

Cordelia. Cordelia. Chad searched him memory banks briefly and recalled that Cordelia was also one of Xander's friends from high school. Ex-girlfriend if he remembered correctly. She was also on that fateful camping trip. And she was Willow's roommate. "Willow?" Chad repeated, scribbling down the message hurriedly on a scrap piece of paper. "She's okay, right? Xander would flip if anything happened to her."

"Oh, yeah," Cordelia rushed on. "She's fine. Except that she's about to make the biggest mistake of her life!"

"Hey, do you mind if I ask you something?" Chad began, not sure how she would react.

"Shoot. Just make it quick before Willow finds out who I'm on the phone with."

"What happened when you guys went camping? Xander's been really messed up since then. He doesn't sleep, he's lost weight. Even his grades taking a dunk in the toilet. What's up?"

"Really? He's not eating?" Cordelia's voice sounded pained. "Look, Xander and Willow had a discussion that didn't turn out the way either of them hoped. Oh!" She made a small noise as if she were surprised. He could hear another female voice in the background. "Look, you'll have to ask him for the rest. I've got to go. Bye!"

The phone abruptly went dead in his hands. He replaced it in its cradle and thought about what Cordelia had said. So, basically, a big conversation with his best friend in the whole world had made Xander screwy. He felt even more confused than before. Xander had been looking forward to that trip for weeks beforehand, eager to see Willow for the first time in a long while. What could have gone wrong? Had she ended their friendship? That would explain a lot.

Chad's speculating was interrupted by the sound of a key in the door followed closely be none other than his long-lost roomie himself.

"Hey," Xander said in way of greeting as he closed the door.

"Hey." Chad lowered his text and leaned forward. "Someone called for you a little while ago." He grabbed the small scrap of paper off the table and handed it to Xander.

"Cordelia?" Xander spoke aloud as he read. "I'd better call her." He began to move towards his bedroom quickly.

"Xand, wait," Chad still wasn't sure how to broach the subject, so he decided to meet it head-on. "What happened with you and Willow?"

Xander stopped in his tracks and turned slowly to look at Chad. His roommate was regarding him seriously, and with concern. Xander sighed heavily. He'd known Chad had been worried about him for days now. He took one step back towards Chad. "Uh, well, it's kinda complicated," he began. Chad nodded for him to continue, so Xander said, "Well, Willow sorta broke up with me, only I didn't know we were together until she did. And then once she did, I realized that breaking up was the last thing in my life I ever wanted to do. Only she won't believe that. And really, after all this time, I'm not sure I even have the right to try and convince her of the fact." Again Chad nodded understandingly, and Xander could see that he completely grasped the situation.

"Okay, so now you're just gonna be all lovesick and wish for could-have-beens?" Chad prompted.

Xander smiled slightly. "Well, I'm gonna see her again this Christmas, so I'm hoping to maybe win her over then. Make her see that I really meant it when I told her I loved her."

Chad stood up and regarded Xander grimly. "Then you'd best take better care of yourself. She's not going to want a withered, haunted boyfriend." He clapped Xander lightly on the shoulder and moved past him into his own room.

Xander stood still for a moment longer and then he remembered the note in his hand. He had to call Cordelia. He tossed his books on his bed as he entered his room and then reached for his phone in one swift motion. Sitting on his bed, he hit the first speed-dial number and waited for someone to pick up on the other end of the line.

"Hello?" Cordelia's voice greeted him.

"Cordy. It's Xander. What's up? Is Willow okay?"

"Oh John! I'm so glad you called. Can you hold on for a minute while I get the phone in my room?" Cordelia exclaimed.

"John? Cordy what's--?"

She cut him off with a low hiss. "Shut up. Play along." He heard the phone hit a table and then female voices talking in the background.

Moments later, he heard soft breathing on the line. "Uh, hello?"

"Cordy will pick up in just a second. Hold on please," Willow's voice washed over him, making him feel again the acute and exquisite pain of knowing exactly how much he had lost. God he loved her. He'd been so stupid.

"Yeah. Sure, uh, I," he stammered hopelessly, wanting to say so much and tripping over his own tongue in his haste.

He was interrupted with Cordelia's terse, "I've got it Willow. You can hang up now."

"'Kay. Bye." The soft sound of the phone clicking as she hung up made Xander almost wince. She was gone.

"What the hell were you yammering about?" Cordy exploded. "That was really smooth, Xander. What if she recognized you voice? Geez, you are so dense!"

"I'm sorry," he squeaked in a small voice. "Sorry." He repeated.

Cordelia sighed. He sounded so - lost. And hurt that she had snapped at him. "It's okay, Xander. Don't worry about it. Listen, the reason I called is that I think you'd better come out here to Boston for Thanksgiving next weekend. Willow's -" She paused, searching for the right words.

Xander immediately panicked at her silence. "What? She's sick? Is she dying? She's okay, right? She's gotta be okay-"

"Xander!" Cordy interrupted his tirade. "She thinks she's in love!"

Xander felt as if he'd just been punched in the stomach. He felt sick and clammy. And for just a second, he was sure he was going to throw up.

"Xander?" Cordy called quietly into the phone. "Are you there?"

"Who?" He managed to spit out.

Cordelia felt the pain in his voice. "This guy she met in the coffee shop here. His name's Jason. He's a computer programmer and he works part-time at our school. She's been seeing him almost every night for a month now, and-"

"A month?! She fell in love with him in one month?! What, is he like, Don Juan or something?!" Xander felt so hurt, and underneath that, betrayed. How could she be in love with him for almost fifteen years and then turn around and love someone else in a month? He for one knew that the depth of his emotions for her would last a lifetime, maybe longer. He wanted to love her everyday for the rest of his life. And he would too, whether she acknowledged that he did or not. He couldn't help how he felt. Once he'd realized that he loved Willow - that he'd loved her all along, every other woman seemed almost repulsive in comparison. None of them had Willow's eyes. Or her smile. Or her laugh. Cordy was saying something. He willed himself to concentrate on her voice. "What?"

"I said, she's not really in love with him, she just THINKS she is."

"How do you know Cordy?" He asked.

Cordelia sighed on her end of the phone. "You remember the picture I took of you two on the camping trip? Well, she's got it on her nightstand. When she thinks I'm not looking, I see her pick it up and stare at it. For like hours. And sometimes she cries. She still wants you Xander, she's just afraid to believe. Wouldn't you be? I mean, she's loved you forever. If she accepted you and then it turned out that you didn't really love her, she'd be destroyed. She's afraid of that."

"But Cordy," Xander, said, tears rising in his throat as he thought of Willow crying, "Why does she think she loves this guy?"

"Because he's nice to her. Because he's been telling her that she's special and that he cares for her. She doesn't love him - she just wants to. She wants a normal relationship. And she's grasping for Jason because he's interested. That's why I want you to come back for Thanksgiving. I want you to remind her that she doesn't really love Jason."

"But, she won't believe me. I've tried. She doesn't reply to my letters, she just mentions that she got them. She cuts our phone conversations short the minute I say anything non-friend-like. How am I supposed to get her back?"

Cordy's voice surprised him with her conviction. "You have one weekend to prove it to her. Jason's going back to Chicago to spend Thanksgiving with his family. He asked her to go, but she didn't want to leave me alone. Come to Boston Xander. For both of you."

Xander thought about what she had said for a few seconds. He couldn't bear to lose Willow. The hope that he could someday change her mind had been all that had kept him going for these past weeks since the trip. He'd rather be dead than lose her again. "I'll call you with my flight number and time," he told Cordelia. "And Cordy, thanks!"