Life of the Party


It's raining the day of Lilly's funeral. Veronica goes and stands in the back because she's Lilly's best friend, but that's not Lilly in the white box with the lilies - Lilly hated lilies, but her mother never cared - and she doesn't want to be here, and her shoes are going to be ruined, and Duncan won't look at her and it just hurts - this pulsing, throbbing hurt where her heart used to be.

She leaves halfway through the service because it's completely obvious that no one here - except for Duncan - actually knew Lilly. She can almost hear the mocking voice in her head - Come on, Mars. This sucks. Let's go find something fun to do. Something naughty. Logan's always up for something naughty. It takes the words in her head to realize that Logan's not there and the knowledge frees her. He's the only person in the world - except for Duncan - who loves Lilly as much as she does.

She walks down the hill to where the cheaper graves are, weaving between the muted gray stones until she reaches the road. The Kanes offered her a limo, but she declined and drove, but her car's blocked in by a host of ostentatious cars that make hers look cheap and tawdry.

"Get in."

She looks up, surprised to see Logan's face. He's in one of the limos and his face seems set in stone. "What?"

"Get in. Before you die of exposure." He laughs bitterly and opens the door and she climbs in, dripping water on upholstery that probably costs more than her house.

"I didn't think you were here." She watches as he takes a hit off a cigarette and wonders when he started smoking. "I didn't see you."

"Lilly would have laughed at all the idiots standing around in the rain." He blows smoke in her direction then stubs out the cigarette. "Lilly would have wanted a party."

She smiles and she thinks that it might be her first since she saw Lilly's body, saw Lilly dead. "Yeah."

He reaches toward her and opens the small fridge next to her. He pulls out two bottles and offers her one. "Private party?"

She takes the beer and opens it; taking a small sip and watching him drink over half of his down. He looks away from her, out the window to the dark mass at the top of the hill. "What am I gonna do without her?"

"I don't know," Veronica whispers softly. She moves to the seat beside him and takes his free hand in hers, squeezing it softly. She feels more than sees his tears as he leans his head against the cool pane of glass. Her own spill from her eyes, and she thinks this might be the first time she's cried. "I don't know."


Back to I Haven't Thought of You Lately