"My life used to be simple." She was proud of the fact that her tone was strong. No self pity, no whining. Just the cold, hard statement of fact.

"I mean, I was a normal kid. Well, as normal as someone declared above-average is allowed to be."

She waited patiently, as if she expected some response. When none came, she began again.

"I had friends. Xander and Jesse. Especially Xander. And other people came to me for help. People needed me. That was a good feeling."

"Then junior high. That…wasn't so great. Xander and Jesse both got hormones. Oh, I did too, but mine were just more selective. But I was one of them. Their insight into the mind of girls, I guess. That's when I really became his guinea pig."

She pulled away from the window and spared a loving glance to the picture of her two friends.

"Then high school. Well, that wasn't too much of a change. At least until Buffy."

A rush of memories crashed into her mind at the mention of her friend.

"Everything changed with Buffy. My life, my importance, my relationship with Xander. My innocence."

No sense belaboring what Buffy and the Hellmouth had wrought. Except for Oz…

"He's impossibly perfect. Always says and does the right thing. Nothing seems to phase him. And he loves me."

The silence in the room was deafening. "And I really wish that were enough."

She grasped her hair in frustration, anger and pain in her eyes. "Why now? Why does it seem like my life is just one, big cosmic joke?" She released her hair, sank down onto the bed and buried her face in her hands.

"I've loved him my whole life. What I feel for him…it's like we complete each other."

Xander. Her Xander. Who hadn't seen her all those years. Whose eyes had finally opened. Who loved her.

"Nothing is simple. Not anymore. And now I have to hurt somebody I love before I hurt somebody I love. Okay, that didn't make as much sense as it should have."

She looked over at her mother sitting quietly on her bed. She moved closer to her daughter and pulled her into a tight hug. "I wish I could tell you everything will be all right, honey. I wish I could make growing up and falling in love easy."

"I never knew how good I had it when I was a kid."

"Once upon a time."

Willow sighed. "Yeah. Way back then."